Memoirs of a Lunatic

Sleep deprived

So after 2 days of getting little sleep thanks to college and work, i was looking forward to getting a good 7hrs last night… wasn’t to be. My mum and brother decided they weren’t going to bed, so they stayed up talking all fucking night! I got maybe 4hrs sleep before being woken again at about 4:45, at which point i gave up and started watching TV.
So i didn’t get to college today because at about 6:30 i fell asleep again and didn’t get up till 11.

I need to move ¬_¬

Need to try and sort out changing my hours for Saturday today… i’ve been trying all week but they just make it awkward through incompetance! Its my b-day on Sunday so i’m going out with mates on Saturday… although honestly i don’t much feel like celebrating. Too much shit getting me down these days.

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Well, the bank won’t give me a loan, and the tax people don’t know anything at all… so i’m fucked.

Phoned my college to see if they have any means of helping… they do, but it doesn’t cover computers because “we provide computers after college hours”. That they do, but i have a job i have to go to, therefore i cannot stick around, and the computers don’t have the software, nor the hardware capacilities i require for this course… totally inadequate.

My last port of call is a company that finds loans for people with a bad credit rating… if they can’t help me then thats it, i lose this machine and my chances of passing my course.

Someone once told me that my weakness was my mother… how bloody right they were.

It never rains…

Got a phone call from my mum not too long ago. Shes currently staying at my cousins place… so she calls me up and just tells me straight out that i have 2 WEEKS to get together nearly £500 for my computer.

As i’ve mentioned before, she has money troubles… and now shes going bankrupt - shes putting in the completed forms tomorrow! She didn’t even give me the grace of letting me know any sooner!

The problem is that there is higher purchase on the computer… meaning if its not paid for in 2 weeks then they’ll be coming round to take it away.
I’d already taken steps to get the money… the inland revenue owe me a tax rebate, but i could be waiting another month or so for that to come through!

Basically, without this computer i’m doomed to fail my college course… last year there was only 1 guy in the class that didn’t have a home computer, and guess what? He is the only person that hasn’t made it to the second year… and no, he wasn’t the dumbest in the class.

So its get £500 or i’m not going to finish this course with a passing grade… my life will be fucking ruined! I’ve finally found something that i love with a passion, and even moreso i’m bloody good at, and now i may lose it… all because of her!

I’m gonna go to the bank tomorrow and beg for a loan… but i’m pretty sure i won’t get it. I’ll phone the inland revenue too, but they’re so messed up i doubt they’ll even give me a straight answer.

So, if i disappear in a couple of weeks you know why, and you can bet money that i’ll be on the same path as my dad… hopping from shit job to shit job till the day i die….