Memoirs of a Lunatic

Feel like a change

I was pretty damned down last night… i’ve been giving some serious consideration lately to going to the docs and asking for some medication to calm me down or something - But i’ve decided i’ll try and sort things out myself without any drugs.
So today i’m gonna clear out my room because its a shithole, and i’m gonna make a good effort to eat healthier… doctors always say food controls your emotional well being so i’ll put that to the test.
I’m aiming to go back to college next week with a new attitude… make sure i don’t miss any classes and just get back to being my normal strong self. I know the permanent solution here is to move out, but that won’t be happening until late next summer so i just have to grit my teeth and get on with it… think i’ll start picking up the guitar more often too, that piece of wood is a great outlet for stress.

Dayum… this place is a shithole, tis gonna take me a good while

You plonker :P

Just went to have my interview… only to find i was meant to be there yesterday! I could’ve sworn the bloke over the phone said Tuesday, in fact i’m sure he did! Oh well, re-scheduled it for Thursday. Tried to phone up the other job that i can start immediately if i want, but the managers are away until Thursday… don’t think that job is a great idea really - its gonna cost me £20.70 a week to get there and back! Hardly worth it.

Got college work mostly done… i’d done more than i previously thought. Good thing too seeing as i have to present all of my work when i get back next week.

 *Just remembered he has to phone the uni*

Falling apart

Nothings going too great at the moment to be honest. I’m not doing well with getting a job, i now have no money, i’m stressed out a lot and as a result of the stress i’m not going into college very often… i’ve had to write em a letter explaining that i’m struggling, else i’ll end up getting kicked off the course… heh, daft really considering i’m their best student.

I just need to relax and get my confidence back… its hard though, people just keep knocking me down all the bloody time. I don’t need that shit… i mean i’ve gotten to the point where i get worked up really easily, like the other day in the car… i got worked up and drove like i’d never been in a car!

I want next year to come round asap… sounds stupid but even with the stress of starting uni, moving and having to budget, i just know i’ll be less stressed out than i am now… probably getting away from my mother is the main issue.