Memoirs of a Lunatic

Fleh

I think its fair to say i’m not having it easy at the moment… the new job is plain awful. Not because its hard work or anything, but because i’m not getting any work… i can’t believe i have 2 fucking jobs, and i still have a bank account reading zero!
Dave gave me 4 nights to work this week, and that cocksucker Chico rubbed em all off… he doesn’t even have the decency to tell me! Friday he phoned me and told me to make sure i was in for 7pm, my shift started at 8 but i went… after the meeting i check the rota, all my weekend hours are gone! He was on the phone to me, and he didn’t bother telling me i wasn’t working… and thanks to being broke i had to walk home! Thats a bloody long walk!

I phoned today. My plan was to find out when i’m working next, then phone Dave and tell him i need to talk to him when i’m next in… Dave i can work with, hes fine. Anyway, Chico says he’ll call me back when hes checked the rota… yeah right! no call surprise surprise.

So thats it… FUCK IT! I’m just not going to contact them again, and i’ll look for more work. I finish college in less than a month now, so i can look for something with full time hours starting in May.

Feeling pretty stressed lately (theres a surprise) …not good cos i’m having difficulty focusing on anything. College work seems like such a damned chore at the moment. I just look at the stuff, cringe and find something else to do… honestly, thats not like me, i want to get through this course with good grades, but i can’t find the energy. Eck, that reminds me, i have to try and convince my mum that i need my band to come round here and do some recording. Thanks to Hook studio having the WORST equipment setup in the world, i got practically nothing done there… for all i know about that technology, i couldn’t get the thing to work properly… its absurd!

Didn’t bother going to college today… i was meant to have a tutorial, and show fiona or whatever her name is some work she wanted us to do… i didn’t do it. Its not essential to our work, she clearly doesn’t understand what we have to do for our assignments so why should i listen? I’m addressing the criteria in my own way. And that tutorial… pah! I’d have to wait over an hour, just to sit down and discuss how i’m coping on the course… unlike the cretins, i do get my work done, i don’t need someone talking to me like i’m a delicate little flower asking me how everything is going… not really worth getting home 2-3hrs later than usual for that!

Fuck off!

Gah! Sara just phoned me, and i said i’d phone back cos the calls are free, and as soon as i get near the phone “No you don’t! I’m going to bed, you’ll keep me awake, so you’re going to bed!” ….excuse me!? I’M NEARLY FUCKING 21! I’m an adult, i don’t need someone telling me when i’m going to bed!
She comes downstairs, turns off the TV, keeps me from the phone, and when i get on the computer she bursts in my room informing me i’m not allowed to be on this either! Its taken all my strength not to rip the fuck into her!

Today started out well too… but ending up in a good deal of pain has put me in a bad mood, and coming home to this every single fucking day has put me in a worse mood! Gonna have to go to the docs tomorrow i think… bad stitching, think it’ll have to be cut away. Shouldn’t need to be put back cos its just one little bit, but it certainly can’t stay like that for 5 weeks!

Bah, y’know i’m actually tired now… but out of sheer fucking protest i’m not gonna go to sleep! Yeah, treat me like a 12yr old, and i’ll fucking act like one.
…This has really gotten my goat up. When i have to be up early its fine for her to sit up till 3am being noisey, and i ask her to keep it down but not to go to bed. Geez, just over 4 months stuck in this little shit hole… it seems like an eternity away!

Oh, and Llloyds TSB, they can go fuck themselves… majorly fuck themselves! They’ve phoned me at least 5 times a day for the last 10 days or so, over a matter of £10 that i owe them… its fucking harrassement, and i’ve given up being polite to them, i now have to answer my phone several times a day and scream “Piss off!”