FH3

Filed under: Music — Wrote by helixy on Friday, October 10th, 2008 @ 8:55 pm

I found an email from L-Tracks in my inbox this morning, reading:

Hey everyone,

today is the day: October 10, 2008. Faderheads - FH3 is hitting the streets in Germany and the UK as a physical CD release and is available worldwide as MP3 download.
The US and Canada will sadly have to hold out a little longer until FH3 is released on October 31, 2008 in North America. The album has already gathered rave reviews and we are very proud to have an album of this caliber as our first L-Tracks release ever.

Please head to http://www.faderhead.com to find out  where exactly you can get the CDs or Downloads or check with your favorite online retailer.

Rock,
L-Tracks

Nice! I plan on purchasing the physical CD [idk, the idea of paying for .mp3s annoys me; if i'm paying, i want something to show for it, too. x3] when it comes out around Halloween…I just hope I can find a place that will be carrying it, or an online merchant who won’t gouge me for shipping. Admittedly, it’ll be one of the few physical CDs I do own, but I’m sure it’ll be worth it. Meantime, I am going to hunt for a physical copy of FH2–and probably FH1 although I haven’t heard all of it.

So, UK and Germany kids… are you planning on buying? :D?

Money Money

Filed under: Commerce, Life [In General], Rant, Work — Wrote by helixy on Friday, October 10th, 2008 @ 8:44 pm

Now this is the *real* post concerning money and its effects on whatever.

So as soon as I got this job back, my dad, instead of coming and talking to me about it, just decided to be an obnoxious little prick and bitch about me to my mother. Apparently I’m expected, now, to shell out for the last payment of Keystone. That’s not really a big deal, I should have enough money by then to cover it, even only working part time on day shift…but that is something that needs to be discussed with ME, not with mom. Mom doesn’t have access to my money. Mom isn’t necessarily going mention this shit to me [although evidently she did]. How the hell am I supposed to know something like that unless I’m told? So it comes down to the date the payment is due, and he’s like, “O BTW…”
Yeah! That’d be fan-fucking-tastic.

Meantime, I also have to shell out for gas to cover my trips to and from work. He thinks that, since I am a teenager and since I don’t drive yet or even just get out much, that I don’t know how much gas costs, and because of that, he tried to give me this exorbitant rate when it costs under a gallon for my to- and -from. I was like, “Uh, right; here’s 3.52, that’ll cover today’s transport and then a little bit.” He’s not happy about that, but I’m not funding his vices when he doesn’t even manage to keep food in the pantry and fridge. It isn’t that I mind paying for the gas, but the fact that he absolutely came to demanding and insisting that I get a job but now demands that I pay for it and even part of my mom’s ‘fare’ is what makes it a fucked up situation.

And that’s where this becomes a rant! :D?!

Dad’s job covers the rent, and utilities [water, gas, power]. Since we pretty much rent this house from his boss, that comes out of his check. So he just doesn’t really tend to go get his check weekly or even bi-weekly because it would be rather small. Instead, he prefers to let it amass for months at a time so it is actually a real dollar amount. [Actually, as of two nights ago his pay has just been doubled--which is marvelous for him what with the economy about to die.] Mom’s earnings from waiting tables are supposed to cover the other stuff–food, fuel, and the phone and cable bills, and of course their cigarette and alcohol habits..and other vices.. Oh, and dad’s retarded football parlays. He’s usually fairly decent, but this year he hasn’t won a single one because players keep getting injured. But he persists to blow from $50-100 weekly on these things. Plus the lotto and scratch tickets. [But he's complained about the five bucks so that I could obtain some personal hygeine things I needed. e_e]

There were a couple weeks in September where business at the restaurant was slow, so she brought in less that normal, and that put us in a bind. Since then, business has come back up a bit, and she’s been making what is closer to normal, meaning we should be okay.

We should be, but we aren’t. Our phone was cut off yesterday, because for SOME reason, my dad never paid the bill. Oh, right, yes, because he’s blowing money gambling, drinking, and smoking. But even with those things, all the money isn’t accounted for; there’s around $200-$300 that is floating in limbo, and this time it isn’t my mom’s fault. He hasn’t been buying hardly any food, the damn cable bill is past-due, and he hasn’t fixed the goddamn van yet, so wtf.

There was really no reason that my Grandmother had to kick in to help with the last Keystone payment [plus my money to get my A+ done.. and don't get me wrong, I do greatly appreciate her willingness to help me--but the point is, she shouldn't have had to]; he had the fucking money… he’s just hoarding it or blowing it on something that he really doesn’t want mom and I to know about.

I hate to sound like an angsty teenager here, but I don’t know if I can help it. With the circumstances being as they are, I’m not even really certain why I bother living here and putting up with the tripe and nonsense that they perpetuate. I’m not content with the idea of waiting eight months to move, especially since those eight months will continue under circumstances such as these; my time, energy, and money would be better spent in an area that actually DOES have some jobs despite the cutbacks, making a decent living fucking wage to contribute to the household that will be, then, phix’s and my own.
I mean, honestly. This is just goofy. I guess the only reason why I have to stay is so that I can make sure that the damn school doesn’t fuckup my transcript from Keystone and so I can ensure that I have all the shit documenting the fact that I am a legit graduate. After all, Dad’s all been pushing for having me out of here ASAP and I haven’t even discussed my plans to move as soon as it’s legal for me to. When Phix was here visiting, he was introducing him to people as his future son-in-law and cracking jokes about getting me married off and moved out. How fucking tacky..

Freshly Minted

Filed under: Simplicity — Wrote by helixy on Friday, October 10th, 2008 @ 8:17 pm

This isn’t going to be a sarcastic blog about the crashing stock market, rather about…money itself.

I hate how newly-released bills feel. They’re too crisp, they stick together with ease. In light of the economy, it just makes me think of the Great Depression, where one of the ideas to quell it was the circulation of more currency into the nation.

Good idea.

But even so, just the way it feels in my hands, and the sounds it makes, annoys me. Money shouldn’t be loud. It speaks for itself without needing any sort of audio. It shouldn’t have to be forcefully creased in order to fold over in orde

I find myself balling up each crisp bill I get until it resembles the others and in softness, except that seems attainable only by the passing of hands and time. I wonder if I could emulate the effect if I spritzed them with a little water while crumpled…

o.o [rant.]

Filed under: Life [In General], Rant — Wrote by helixy on Friday, October 3rd, 2008 @ 4:51 am

An old acquaintance of mine [of whom I am no longer particularly fond due to some ignorant choices she made a year or two ago] got my screen name and IMed me the other evening–when I was already in a less-than-bubbly mood, only typing the emote o.o. Admittedly, I wasn’t very nice about it.

o.o is NOT a means of starting a conversation, not unless you have something lined up to say right behind it, or unless that is a facet of an inside joke between the pair. The situation was neither. I’m just of the opinion that if you’re going to start a conversation with someone, have something to say. I’m not a fan of small talk, and emotes aren’t EVEN small talk.

It happened that I did have an away status message up stating that I was watching a movie. I really don’t enjoy being interrupted, much less for an idiot who has nothing to say.

“What? Do you need something?”
“You’re the only one on tonight…”
“So?”
“Should I take that as a, ‘I’m not happy to say hi to you?’ I was just trying to see if you were awake.”
“Well, if I’m not idle… and I have an away up stating that I’m watching a movie here, I’m definitely awake. It is not prudent, rude even, to disturb when I am occupied elsewhere. And no, you should know that I don’t enjoy being interrupted… especially when you have nothing more to say than o.o. That is not how you start a conversation. And it doesn’t matter if I was awake… I made it evident that I didn’t want to be bothered.”
“Well how am I supposed to know about the idle thing. It’s not that way always, like Jeni for example.”
“Am I Jeni? No. Is Jeni the only person who uses her PC?”
“No…”
“Then there’s a good chance she won’t be idle if she isn’t there, if someone else has access to and uses the computer.”
“Well, I don’t think that’s true–”
“I’m not going to sit here and argue with you. You SHOULD know how idling with AIM works because you’ve been using it for so long, but even if you don’t, you aren’t going to argue with what I have to say about it. You have nothing to say, nothing worth listening to, and does it occur to you, perhaps, that the reason why no one else appears on, to you, is because you try to start conversations with o.o? Damn. Off with ye.”

Seriously.. Why bother trying to start a conversation with someone who hasn’t had anything to do with you, and vice versa, for years, especially when that someone is openly not fond of you? I have no qualms with being up front about those things. I may as well be a stranger to her, since when do you harass strangers like that? Twit..

I’m not fond of teenagers.

What To Do..

Filed under: Life [In General], Techie — Wrote by helixy on Tuesday, September 30th, 2008 @ 3:15 pm

I need advice.

Here’s the situation: I’m seeking the second half of a technical certification. I was speaking to my Grandmother the other day, and she generously offered to cover the cost. I did not make it out as if I was seeking that by want or need, or at all. I do, after all, have tact. Of course I thanked her profusely, and the check ought to be in the mail.

A few minutes ago, I got an email from my former tech instructor saying that, until I am actually given my diploma in June, regardless of whether or not I am attending classes, I am technically a student there and that the school may be able to cover the cost of my exam through a voucher program.

I’m trying to figure out how I ought to handle this, but I can’t settle on any end. So, should I:

1) Politely decline the voucher offered to me and suggest that it goes towards another student’s certification being as I DO have the financial means, now.

or

2) Accept it, and use it first. If I fail that try, then I can fall back on the money given to me as a second chance. If I pass on the first [free to me] shot, then that money does not have a place, so…

a) I can send that funding back to my grandmother, explaining that after the fact, I was offered a free means to do it, thanking her for the assistance anyway.

b) I can give that to my parents who are now saying that, although it was initially agreed that they would cover costs of online courses, I need to pay them back.

or c) Keep it and put it to my Christmas budget or something like obtaining a phone [which is becoming more important what with the possibility that I may not have a phone at all].

I just can’t really decide what to do. I face getting bitched at by my immediate family if I take any option two and need it as a backup, although I didn’t know about this until after my discussion with my grandmother, and though I am not being scheme-y. [They like to assume I act based upon the way they do.] Reasonably, though, if I do need it as a backup, I can just wait until I have re-started my job, and I can take it once I have money there, with them being none the wiser.

What do you think? ><

Crash and Burn

Filed under: Commerce — Wrote by helixy on Monday, September 29th, 2008 @ 11:27 pm

The United States House of Representatives voted down the proposed Bailout Plan to give kickbacks to the folks on Wall Street, etc.

Owned.

The wealthy class is trying to make the middle and lower classes pay for the mistakes of their elitist jerks when we’re in more than enough debt as is. Fuck that noise.

Since they voted it down, the stock market has fallen 800 points. Again, owned. I feel for people who have stocks that aren’t wealthy, because they’re going to get fucked over too, to a degree, but I just can’t help but not be devastated. Yet.

The government says we aren’t in a recession.
What are they going to say when we enter Great Depression: The Sequel?

Separation

Filed under: Life [In General] — Wrote by helixy on Monday, September 29th, 2008 @ 5:50 pm

Distance generally sucks. It isn’t so bad, though, when you can talk to the one you love daily or at least otherwise communicate consistently.

However, his phone is b0rked. Ouch. And my landline is in danger of being cut at any moment, now.

And his ISP has tried to charge him for a service he doesn’t have, use, and never agreed to… which never appeared on his online statement or printed bill he got in the mail. So he’s like, “Erm, no, I don’t think I’ll be paying for something I don’t have,” and so they’re like, “Well, I don’t think you’ll be having an internet connection! Haha!”

I’m glad we aren’t the type of people to get all strange and strained under these conditions. I’m glad that we entered this knowing and accepting that things of this nature could occur. It’s lonely, but shit happens and it will be fixed soon. Not all contact is cut off, he can still hop online for short intervals to check email, so that’s how we’ve been communicating.

Can’t wait for it to be fixed, though. :]

edit:
Aw, he just surprised me with a call from a friend’s phone. I feel a bit better now. x]

Job-ness!?

Filed under: Work — Wrote by helixy on Monday, September 29th, 2008 @ 5:42 pm

So I’ve been filling out a maddening amount of applications, both online and on paper. Unfortunately, our vehicle is…moody, and I haven’t been able to turn in the paper ones yet. >.<

For those of you who generally haven’t experienced the wonder that is the online application process for most places [in which a seventeen-year-old could get a job], let me break it down.

  • First choose the position(s) you’re applying for. Most online applications I’ve done only let you choose one, so if you want to apply for other positions as well… tough.
  • Basic info, such as name, address, telephone number, and then social security number.
  • Basic questions such as, “Are you over 18? If no, are you at least 16+?” “Can you provide proof of eligibility to work in the US?” “Have you ever been convicted of a felony? If so, explain.” “What are you pursuing–Full time, part time?” “What hours are you available to work?”
  • Approval of a criminal background check.
  • Questions asking, “Hey, if we want to drug test you, are you down with that?” and a notice that, if you are requested to take one to see if you’re ‘eligible’ to be hired, and you refuse, any offers of employment go poof.
  • Previous employer/experience information. Other references.
  • [My favorite part] Then is a ridiculous personality evaluation to which the answers are, “Strongly Disagree,” “Disagree,” “Agree,” and, “Strongly Agree.” You are then faced with statements like, “I’m not afraid to say what’s on my mind.” “I prefer to work alone than on a team.” “When someone criticizes me, it bothers me for a long time.” “I am talkative.” Many of the statements are the same as a previous one, just reworded. How does this take place of a first impression?! Gah.

Now, what does it matter if I’m a bubbly idiot if I’m in a position that doesn’t deal with people? If I am qualified and can get the job done efficiently and effectively without being an asshole… psh.

Anyway, mom came home from work last night and mentioned that the manager had asked her to relay to me that their daytime shift waitstaff is pretty much about to poof [One's about to have a baby, two have found better jobs, one's in the nuthouse and one is about to go to jail! Yay!] and that they will be in dire need of servers within the next week or two.

I don’t relish the idea of working at Friendly’s again. However, I should be able to maintain decent hours if the circumstances are what they are, and I’d probably make more doing that than I would in retail.

I’ll know by the end of this week..

edit:
Just kidding, I know now. I do have a job again, and I will be starting on Sunday, probably. Yip yip yip.

Twitter

Filed under: Uncategorized — Wrote by helixy on Monday, September 29th, 2008 @ 5:28 pm

I finally hopped aboard the little Twitter… thing. I won’t say bandwagon because it doesn’t seem to be out of control yet.

I am still playing with everything, need to upload a picture, etc. Also need to get the little plugin/widget/whatever to stick to the side of my blog, here.

So, if you care: http://twitter.com/helixy

Irresponsibility and Teen Pregnancy

Filed under: Girly Tomfoolery, Life [In General], Rant, Uncategorized — Wrote by helixy on Tuesday, August 26th, 2008 @ 7:13 am

I’ve got a friend, Kelsey. I’ve known her since we were five, first entered school, and we’ve been friends ever since. We’ve caused our fair share of chaos in our going-on-twelve-years of knowing each other, although in the past couple years I have certainly come to, despite being a generally angry-like and temper-having person, settled down and have taken responsibility for my life and actions. She, on the other hand, continues to act irresponsibly–and not just a little, just…entirely.

I entirely understand that most see teen years as a time to fuck off and experiment and the whole nine. For me, it isn’t, but that’s just because I’m an enigma, methinks. I was raised oddly and developed my outlook on things awfully quickly, while others are still in the formation of their own, which I obviously can’t fault them for. I don’t condemn those that do some exploration, but I try to keep those close to me from anything too crazy or anything dangerous. Unfortunately, as hard as I have tried to ultimately be the Voice of Reason in the minds of my friends, it always seems to be a waste of my breath, our time, etc. I try not to be terribly pushy or critical, because I understand that certain matters needed to be treated delicately, and I don’t really mean to alienate people.

However, when people do things that they know for a fact that I am, to put it politely, not very fucking fond of, and then proceed to boast these perceived “accomplishments” to me, do I get annoyed and less than nice. For example, I am very anti-drug. No, I’m not a sheeple about it, but I simply don’t like the things, and I do not want to be around them, and in general, I have found the majority who indulge to be undesirable folks. So, for a close friend to boast to me about how she snuck out to get high…well, doesn’t make me happy to hear. But after being cross over the issue and repeating my frustration, it gets irksome, and I begin to distance myself from them. It isn’t fair to myself to try to waste time and energy trying to instill common sense in someone whose mind selectively percolates. It is too frustrating for me…and I’ve decided that I’m too angry too often, so I’m trying to separate myself from the majority of issues that I know for a fact will make my blood boil.

Another thing is, regarding sex, I think my friends get the wrong signal(s) from me. I’m fairly comfortable and open–that is, I’m not ashamed to frankly discuss things. I don’t arbitrarily provide random gruesome details–with that aspect of my life. I sing the praises of a comfortable, safe, fulfilling sex life like it’s my damn job. This isn’t to boast [although, admittedly, I do boast about some stuff] but I feel as if they think that I am pressuring to hurry to advance the progression of their own, wherever it may be. And that was absolutely NOT what I meant to convey, something I iterated and reiterated… that such experiences ought to be shared with someone [at least] you know, trust, and care for.

Unfortunately, despite my harping re: that, a couple can’t seem to listen. Kelsey in particular.
Warning, mild TMI. Nothing graphic, of course, but still might be more than you care about. But this is my blog, rawr:
Kelsey lost her virginity over the Spring, in April. Apparently, she had fun. I know [and am acquainted with] the guy she lost it to, and I can vouch that he is a good guy, sensible enough to use protection, etc etc.
Not long after she slept with yet another mutual friend of ours. I also know this kid, and I know he’s a good person… but they didn’t use any protection. Which I, “rawr’d,” at them both for.
After prom, she slept with a friend of Jeremy’s. Now, I trust Jeremy’s judgment, and I’m sure if he himself was a sketchy guy that Jeremy would’ve been like, “er, not a great idea.” However, the fact remains that she, herself did NOT know this person, which, to me, screams irresponsible. They, too, did not wrap before the tap.
Now this one kill kill KILLS me. She was at the pool with another friend, and they met this couple of guys, and they all started talking. They ended up going to see a movie, and that night, she slept with one of them. She had met this person just a couple hours before, didn’t use protection, spent the night with him, etc.
She met some guy online and has been talking to him for a while. She claims to be enamored of him, ["He sings me Beatles songs!" she goes]. Although there wasn’t much to his credit that he wasn’t sketchy, she agreed to meet and spend the night with him in a hotel here. Again, not wrapped.
To my knowledge, she was fooling around with some random guy she met at work. I don’t know how far they got, but she claims that her judgment was clouded because they were hanging out while high, and he, “took advantage of the situation,” on which I call, “Bullshit!”

Imo, if you’re gonna be having sex, there’s no excuse not to use/obtain some form of protection…especially with the wondrous choice of all these partners, condoms needed to be a required part of the thing, especially for the people whose histories she couldn’t confirm. With all the ilk that can be acquired via that route these days, why would you not? And even if one is too foolish to do that, at least go for a contraceptive [spermicide..something]. I was simultaneously disgusted and worried, not mad at her, though–where would anger get me, or her, at that point?–but just didn’t even bother trying to say anything.

Crusading Kate decided that she wanted to take it upon herself to speak for both of us, which I didn’t give her leave to [speak on my behalf]. Previously, Kate had the grand idea to inform Kelsey’s mother of these goings-on, a piss-poor idea as far as I’m concerned, because I think that a lot of this behavior is an attention ploy and to lash out because of the way her mother treats her and all that. Telling her mother would cause only more issues and possibly cost us a friend. Only if it became life-threatening would I do that…at the moment, it is not.

However, Crusading Kate, in her talks with Kelsey from which I was ostensibly absent, conveyed the idea that I was very angry with Kelsey, and that I came to hate her, etc. Great, last thing I wanted. Apparently Kelsey called me hypocritical over my opinion of her surplus sex, saying that since I enjoy so much, that it is wrong to say that she can’t have hers, and she also testified to Kate that she has only slept with three guys, when I have very real evidence otherwise. First off, when I am with Jeremy, yes, there is lots of private-time had. However, it is, I think, a whole hell of a lot different when it is someone you love, trust, and are in a committed, healthy relationship with, and furthermore, with as little as we get to see each other, damn right we’re making the most of our time. I’ll admit, it was cold of me to not address the situation [esp. when I WANTED to], but I figured it would just cause more trouble. Guess not, since the less-than-six-months-ago-deflowered friend called me a hypocrite, even though she’s sought such things with more guys than the time [in months] she’s been deflowered. Eventually, Kelsey called me saying she needed to tell me something. First, though, I explained that I wasn’t angry, just highly concerned with her behavior as of late, and that if she continues on the path she’s on, she’s not really going to have a life to live, be that literally or metaphorically.

She then proceeds to tell me that she is five weeks pregnant, presumably with Alex’s [the one she met online's] baby…although there is really no proof of this, considering she had had sex with the previous guy not long before and was unprotected with him. Simultaneously, I found myself horrified, speechless, and even slightly amused. Admittedly, it was expected, but the train’s impact is so much greater when not just imagined, but felt. Speechless because, well, what does one say to that? And amused because, well…maybe, just maybe, she’ll learn something from the consequences of her actions.

Being the little pseudo-pro-lifer I am, I sincerely hopes she gets healthy [she claims to have stopped smoking/drinking, regardless of her ultimate decision] carries to term, and puts her baby up for adoption i the hopes that they will see a good home. Even if she had the resources, she is completely incapable of being a mother any time soon…she can’t even take care of herself, let alone a baby. She is too impatient, demands instant-gratification, temperamental, lazy, etc. to make a good mother.
Unfortunately, what will likely occur on the reality side of thing is that she will terminate the pregnancy. She’s too worried that a Juno-like thing would happen in which, once the child was born, she wouldn’t want to give it up [although Juno did, regardless], fall in love with it, and want to keep it…which she simply can’t. I truly dislike the idea of abortion being used as birth control, but…damn. I don’t really know what to say here.

Despite the fact that her poor conduct horrifies and saddens me, I can’t help feeling the way a loyal and dutiful friend ought, and assuring her that I’m there for her if she should need me…although in the times I’ve needed her, she’s seldom been there, negating her vows otherwise.

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