o tempora, o mores!

While cleaning yesterday, I came across a box of pictures. In it, I found a bunch of pictures of me when I was very little. In fact, I found one of my first day of school–ever!–and it’s just…damn it, it’s cute. That sounds egotistical, I guess, since it’s myself, but stiiiill! Deny it, I dare you! :x

I look at it, and I think about how simple it is to be five years old. You don’t really have any responsibilities or deadlines or stress other than, “Birthday’s coming up! What flavor of cake should I ask for?” or, “Have I been good enough for Santa Claus to bring me presents?” Even if you witness the fucked up things that occur in the world, they don’t phase you as much. At least, they didn’t phase me as much as they likely would now.
My younger sister is five, and should be going to Kindergarten this year–although she may be homeschooled–and should she have to go, I lament what awaits her. She’s excited about the idea, as was I [as you can see!] but once it was actually encountered, things like standardization to accommodate everyone at a basic level made it a massive disappointment. It wasn’t all that long before that, “I’m happy just because I’m a little kid and I can be happy!” smile disappeared in exchange for raised eyebrows and an even lip.

It is, I believe, saddening to see that, and to reflect on the events that cause that. Not even necessarily in myself, but in everyone. Disillusionment, sometimes, sucks. Really badly.