Unprepared
Although it sounds ridiculous and pretentious, I don’t include myself when reflecting upon those close to my age (I will be seventeen at the end of June)–particularly the ones I tend to interact with on a semi-daily basis–simply because the circumstances of our lives differ.
My high school (Grades 9-12) is the only in my city–Jeremy disdains to call it a city since it is so small and since its downtown district is minimalistic–, currently. You would think that it would be terribly crowded (and some classes are due to overwhelming interest and piss-poor planning) being the only one but we only house about 900 students. but since it was built to accommodate what currently exists, and not to house any of the expansion, another will have to be constructed in five years’ time. Well, unless they just add to the property.
The building we’re in is in its second year; the adjacent Field Hockey and Baseball fields is where the old building used to be (by the same name). It’s last year–my freshman year–was pretty chaotic and noisy, what with the construction of the new building. Actually, when eighth grade was dropped from the school, the old building wasn’t crowded–but there were asbestos issues, so…
Oh. Yes; for quite some time, the high school housed grades 8-12. My class was the last eighth grade to attend there. Then, grades K-3 were at the elementary, 4-7 and the middle, and 8-12 at the high. We have an upper elementary now, and the distribution is as follows: K-2 at the elementary, 3-5 at the upper elementary, 6-8 at the middle/jr high, and 9-12 at the high.
Anyway, continuing from that history essay…
Since it is so small, everyone is familiar with each other. It’s rare to see someone whose name (at least) you don’t know, and usually they’re a transfer student. Circumstances are similar and cliques mesh oddly well. A good percentage of the students come from upper-middle class families who are well-off and have a little bit more money than they know what to do with.
So what does this result in? Spoiled teens who do not have to earn or do anything for themselves. They don’t know what it’s like to have to work for anything, because things are handed to them. They are entirely unprepared for their life after high school.
Jeremy points out that the issue is that everyone wants to shelter and coddle their “baby” well into their teen years, which is overwhelmingly true. So, some are just not capable of accomplishing things on their own…and should they want to, they either cause disaster due to ignorance or are prevented by their family.
The schools are certainly no help, adhering to the drastically lowered standards that can be owed to the brilliant No Child Left Behind nonsense. They’re told to memorize some facts for a low-level-comprehension standardized test, and then those facts can be forgotten. So these kids know nothing. They don’t know how to learn or adapt, and they don’t know how to accomplish anything, because the bar is lowered perpetually. And they don’t have any desire to, thanks to the typical teen mindset of, “Oh, not me. Nothing bad will happen to me; I will automatically maintain the lifestyle my family provides…etc.”
The media compounds this, making matters even worse. They present this image of, for girls, “If you’re pretty and put out, then you’re set for life!” Mm, no. That’s a HUGE issue. In America, my generation doesn’t seem to understand that that is bullshit. I mean, sure, if you wanna be like Anna Nicole and wed a sugar daddy whose only request is…okay, I stray again.
A couple examples:
Rachel–the girl I went to the beach with–got her license back in October. Right after her birthday in May, so she’d have something to practice in and drive upon getting her license, her parents bought her a BMW. They pay for her gasoline and insurance. They bought her a decent guitar she has no intention of playing. She has both a laptop and a desktop PC. She got her sixth iPod for Christmas. She, her mother, and her sister often go splurge on trips to nail salons. She frequently goes over her minutes on her cellphone and recently led her parents into getting unlimited text messaging for it since she used over 5,000 in one month. She has a part-time job that she frequently calls out of and she still gets allowance and other spending cash from mommy and daddy. This isn’t to mention the vacation they take over Spring Break, the cruise or other Caribbean trip they take in the summer and the annual trip to Sunset.
Rachel cannot do her own laundry, cannot operate a vacuum cleaner, and can’t cook anything that doesn’t require a microwave. When we were at the beach, those of us who were underage weren’t allowed to cook with the oven or stove unless an adult was present–WTF. Almost seventeen and she’s not allowed to cook…because she doesn’t know how? What the HELL is wrong with this picture?
She wants to go to the University of Hawaii. I asked her how she’d manage that, since mom does everything. Most dorms don’t have maid service. She became offended and started to cuss me (which is amusing, because she chronically misuses words). “You don’t even order your own food in a restaurant…how will you handle taking care of yourself?” She laughs, glances down at herself and says that she’ll, “have to find a boy to take care of her.”
…I’m disgusted.
My close friend, Kelsey, turns seventeen at the end of this month. [We're all juniors in HS, by the way.] Love her to death, but she’d dumber than a lightning-blasted stump. She was a lifeguard summer before last, but quit because she really didn’t know what she was doing. She’s not spoiled, but she’s sure as hell sheltered. Or her mom tries, anyway. She’s going to be screwed when she leaves the house because she’s entirely dependent on her parents or friends for everything. Mom wakes her up in the morning for school, mom gets all her food for her, mom even cleans her room, occasionally does her shopping, and takes care of her dog–her dog. She ruined a microwave making ramen because she thought that leaving the spoon in the bowl would be alright. At least she can work a vacuum, right? Kelsey acknowledges that all this is terribly fucked up and tries to do something about it, but instead of being taught, she’s told to go do something else.
Her mother is also one of those parents who thinks that a mood swing that is typical of a teenager is a sign of mental illness and sends Kelsey off to a shrink once a week, and had her going to anger management therapy for a bit. Against her will, she’s on Prozac…and her dose was upped last week. Trust me; she doesn’t need it.
It’s pathetic. Teens complain that they don’t have enough freedom, but the majority prove, in an endless waltz, that they can’t handle it! Simple, personal responsibilities surpass seem their ability or interest at this point.
The ones that do desire to ready themselves for their impending lives are mostly hindered by a combination of, oh, everything…which must be very frustrating for them.
It is so pitiful…the whole thing.
Seems like there are going to be a lot (more/)of kids that are easily exploited if they encounter the wrong kind of peeps to admire, love, lead, whatever… o_o
X and I often talked about this. The spoiling of children happens everywhere and it’s most apparent in teens. Honestly, when I was in high school, I would get angry when I would see a reckless, irresponsible teen showing off their new car by driving high speed while trying to get out of the parking lot first. Though it was ‘their’ car, their parents bought it for them, paid for their insurance and gasoline. Next thing you see is them ramming into the back of someone else’s bumper. They would get out of the car, cell phone in hand. Not calling the insurance company but their mummy and daddy without the slightest look of regret on their face. Even a girl in tears wouldn’t have any remorse because she knew mummy or daddy would pay for it. It’s actually still quite upsetting. I think parents do that because they either want to be their child’s best friend instead of a parent or they spend way too much time at work and make up for it by handing out the credit card. There is a fine line between the two, in my opinion. Their is also the happy medium.
Now, there are those middle - high class tight wad parents that don’t buy their kids anything and expect their child to make their own food by the age of 7, have a job at 10 and pay for their entire college tuition by 18. Not even a new pair of jeans or new set of school supplies for the next coming year. Now those parents are just as stupid as the parents that spoil their children rotten. You can’t expect a child to know everything about nutrition by the age of 7. You should still let your child be a child at the age of 10 and submerging a child/teen entirely in debt before they even set foot in that college by 18 is just painful and insulting. (I don’t mean to sound bitter but my parents.. augh)
I do believe that it’s a parent’s responsibility to teach their child the value of a dollar, euro or pound but I do also believe a parent shouldn’t be so selfish with their money. Again there should be a happy medium. Love your child always, teach them the value of everything and indulge them a bit here and there. Not just when they need it but also at special times when they want it. It would let their children know that they are loved and also teach them responsibility.
A few of the people at my school who I think will be able to handle things will be able to because it was pretty much forced on them–either by tight-wad parents or other circumstances. And that’s sad, too.
And it overjoys me to know that you’re a mother with some damn sense. :]
Too few of them…entirely too few.
I suppose technically they didn’t have enough freedom - being smothered by their parents. But the type of freedom they’re thinking about is entirely different, I’m sure.
I know people that live in their own little bubble thinking that other people will carry them along because that was how it was for them at home. And it gets damn annoying when you’re doing group work with them - nevermind they’re too fragile to take the criticism.
So many young people are fragile. I know I’m quite fragile for being somewhat smothered, which is probably from being the youngest and therefore the ‘baby’ for longer than I should have been. But I’m not as fragile as some people - I’ve lived with 30 year olds that won’t take the bin out, that can’t handle themselves, won’t get themselves out of the rut they blatantly don’t enjoy.
Of course, there’s always the “You’re a disappointment to me for not getting in the top student award ceremony 5 times in a row”. I remember reading in the paper some woman that scolded her kids for anything less than top in everything, which is just way too harsh.
I agree with the happy medium - provided it’s balanced, rather than being both sides at once and contradicting each other - that’s just infuriating for the kid because s/he doesn’t know what’s wanted of them.
Mehe, I was one of those kids, Moglet–one of the ones who, “was a disappointment for blahblah..”–because before that, I had maintained a standard that was similar to that, so, when I started, uh, falling from grace–so to speak–, my parents went…overboard, to say the least.
It was a bad time.