Customers

This is just a list of some of the things I encounter. I’m not even going to comment on them because I don’t have to.

• “How do I turn this on?”
• “I thought computer viruses were biological, like other ones.”
  
• “+Points to a computer (just the tower).+ I need to buy this internet.”
• (From someone claiming to have their CCNA) “Will a Kodak printer work with an HP computer?”
• “What do you mean these don’t have built-in floppy disc drives? That’s ridiculous. What about all my programs?”
  
• “I need memory for a computer.” “What kind?” “…what? Memory.” “Yeah…um, do you know the model number of your PC?” “It’s just memory, it’s all the same, isn’t it?”
• “+Approaches with MagicJack+ This gets me internet wherever I want, right?”
• “Why won’t this laptop fit?” “That’s a 17.3″ laptop…?” “Yep.” “…that’s a 15.6″ bag.”
• “I bought this netbook and it won’t play Eve Online…”
• “You guys got printer ink?” “Yep, what kind do you need?” “I don’t know.” “What kind of printer do you have?” “I don’t know.”
• (Over the phone) “I need prices on hard drives.” “What size?” “I dunno, decent sized.” “500GB for $X, we have 640 for $Y…” “That cheap? I thought I’d be out 600 for that big thing.” “Hard drives are fairly small, sir, do you mean the whole computer?” “Yeah, the hard drive!”
• “Which one of these cameras has zoom?”
  
• “I want a really fast laptop with a lot of storage and a 17″ display…for under $500.” (Yeah, don’t we all?)
• “I want this.” “I’m sorry, we’re sold out. We’ll get more; I can try another store.” “Why don’t you have it?” “It is a very popular product and we recently sold out, I’m sorry about that.” “But it’s in the ad.” “Yes ma’am, I understand…and we sold out.” “But it was in the ad, you should have it. This is bullshit.” “Ma’am, our ad comes out on Sunday…it is now Thursday; many people in this area saw and we sold out. We can give you a rain-check or hold one for you when it comes in.” “BUT YOU SHOULD HAVE IT CUZ THE AD SAYS.”
• “I hate this brand of computer, so I don’t want one?” “Bad experience with them?” “They’re just bad.” (“I know nothing about computers and that isn’t a name I remember because I’m senile.”)
  
• (Over the phone) “How many gigabytes do the cameras have?”
• “How do I make my dial-up do wireless?
  
• “I want one of those little notebooks.” (I take them to a 14.1 inch notebook/laptop.) “No no, one of the tiny things. Not a laptop.” “They mean the same thing. Netbooks are the little ones, here.” “That’s what I said, ‘notebook.’”
• (Thirty feet from the HUGE sign that says, “Car Electronics,” instead, near digital cameras.) “Where are your GPS systems?” “…Is that a car electronic?” “Yes..?” “+Points.+”
  
• “I need a replacement cord (power supply!) for my laptop. +Sees cost.+ Why are they so expensive?” “You aren’t just buying a computer when you buy a laptop…”
• “Where are your Kindles located?”
• “I need an adapter for my iPod.” “Okay, here you go.” “That’s what they gave me last time and it didn’t fit.” “Which iPod do you have?” “+Points to a Sony Walkman mp3 player.+”
• “I bought this here PC the other day…where do my speakers plug in?” “The mint-green 3.5mm port on the back.” “My (USB) mouse is plugged in there.” “It is not.”
• “I can’t put multiple discs in one drive at once? Oops.”
• “My phone line (RJ11) sits in the Ethernet (RJ45) port but I can’t get online.”
• “How can LG make monitors? They don’t make computers, right?”

…sigh.