per aspera ad astra

So, idly browsing MySpace a while ago, on a friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend’s page, I found this gem:

Now, maybe it’s just me, but if you’re taking your pre-prom pictures around a big old tractor… Well, it says something about you. x]

This isn’t even about my views. I’m sure that it’s been established via forums that I am an immensely open-minded person when it comes to these things, and that I believe everyone is entitled to love who they please, etc.

Rather, this is going to discuss someone near my age who has similar views…although is a bit more passionate/angry about going about it. I understand being passionate about your beliefs, and I think that it is important, very important, to stand up for your beliefs and what you think is right. I do not think, however, it is in good taste to claim to hate everyone or have other hostile feelings towards an entire group because of the actions or words of some that belong to that group.
Perhaps it’s because she’s young.

For some background…This is the young lady who I mentioned before in my previous post, In Comparison. She isn’t a bad person, and generally means well, but often speaks and acts before she thinks. Now, we’re all guilty of this. I’m guilty of this far more often than I’m comfortable with, admittedly.
She was raised as a Catholic, typical indoctrination stuff, and was Confirmed as a Catholic at age thirteen…around which time, and for a year prior [or so], she and I had been having pretty heated arguments regarding the tenets and doctrines of Christianity. This was all brought on by, at the time, her preaching at me over my status as a heathen. I do not attack people for having different beliefs than I do, but if I’m attacked and scorned over it, I do have a tendency to lash out somewhat cruelly. Long story short, my well-read [apparently, although she was at the time a vehement mini-Catholic, she never bothered to read the scripture...whereas I have] and backed side of the debates led her to question what she’d been raised into. She tried to postpone her Confirmation because of her doubts, but her mother forced her into it. So now she’s a self-described Athiest and abhors the Church. Go figure.

She made another post on MySpace this evening, and it reads thusly:

[Are YOU Homophobic?] Then please go jump off a cliff and die a horribly painful death. Want to know the reason for this?

So I was just looking through one of my friend’s Facebooks (no, I will not say who though they will probably figure out it’s them) and I was just looking at all of their bumper stickers. They’re cute and whatnot and entertaining to say the least. Well, inbetween two larger pictures I noticed a very small one. I didn’t pay any attention to it at first and then I decided to just see what it was about.

Well, what did this picture say? “God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve”. Well this just fucking pissed me off.

When I had my camp friends over, Walker and I stayed up really late just watching Youtube videos and looking through my files and whatnot. I had him watch the powerpoint on Gay Rights I made for my end of the year project in World History II in sophomore year. The pictures of Shirley Phelps-Roper had him crushing my hand in frustration and he was beyond words. You see, Walker’s bi-sexual and is somewhat affected by all of this. So the second I saw this, I remembered how angry he had gotten and how that in turn affected me.

Some of our other conversations had to do with Christians and their disdain for gays and the like (you see, we’re both atheists). I’d say about 99% of all homophobics are Christians or have some sort of religious affiliation.

So the moral of this story? I fucking hate all Christians and homophobics.

No, I don’t care if you’re Christian and my friend. Right now, I’m not on good terms with you either. I don’t understand how one can believe in something that has never even looked you in the face or shown his/her precense. It’s unbelievable how gullible people can be! I’m sick and tired of religion existing in the world and fucking up the system! I need all of you to go and commit mass genocide/suicide. It will solve most of the world’s problems, I assure you.

And no, I don’t care if I have offended you in this message. I don’t want to see your anti-gay paraphernalia anywhere in the public, nor do I want to hear it spoken from your mouth. If you think it’s better we not be friends, fine.

But I’ll leave you with this closing statement for you to think upon:
Gays are humans, too. Why can’t they have the same rights we gave African Americans and women?

Well first of all, that last bit is kinda shortsighted and only applies to America. A true activist would demand things the world over. ;] Anyway, we had already been engaged in a conversation over video conversion software, so I decided to change to subject in hopes of persuading her to adopt a less corrosive bit. Sadly, I failed. What do you make of this?

Me: Okay.. I understand that you’re passionate about what you’re doing. But someone is entitled to their beliefs just as much as you are.
Me: And perhaps they aren’t actually homophobic,maybe they just thought it was a funny wording. Furthermore, boo, not all Christians are gay-hating jerks. It isn’t fair to lump everyone in one category.
Kate: 1. I know this chick personally, and I know it’s what she believes… 2. I’m not counting her among the homophobics.
Me: But to say, as you did that you hate all Christians because of something that some of them believe is just as narrow-minded as the ones that are, to us, in err.
Me: For example…last time I checked–and it may be different because she flipflops sometimes–, Kelsey still describes herself as Christian. And she’s OBVIOUSLY not under that group.
Me: Just because the beliefs and preaching of a certain area or aspect of the group is wrong in your or my eyes doesn’t mean that we should scorn the whole group. That doesn’t make us any better, now.
Me: And I’m not being bitchy, and I’m not trying to cause drama. I’m just saying…y’know, be passionate, but not hateful. Hate directed towards groups is inefficient. Hatred is better left to individuals.
Kate: If you knew who I was really aiming this at, you wouldn’t be talking. This isn’t everyone in the world.
Kate: This is mainly targeted to hit my friends. The ones I know who are like this.
Me: Okay, but to say things like, “I fucking hate rah rah rah…” Isn’t that a bit extreme? And that’s just baiting them to try to cause issues.
Kate: I believe I can say whatever I want, though.
Me: I’m not saying you don’t. I’m just saying that perhaps you might rethink your avenues of doing so, and instead of expressing it with angst and rage, you might benefit more from a more creative, constructive approach.
Kate: … I’ve tried that, Jenn. Many time. Hence why now I’m at the end of my limit.
Me: Then being all rawr likely isn’t going to do much but frustrate you more than you are, and hurt friendships that otherwise wouldn’t be affected by the issue. You have to accept some disagreements, it’s part of what you’ve been waiting for so long, you know, growing up?
Me: You know how I feel about the situation. Everyone is entitled, as far as I’m concerned, to love who they want, and for anyone to try to say otherwise is wrong, in my eyes. Everyone should be able to marry who they please, and AoCs should be lowered as far as I’m concerned, the works.
Kate: So far, all of my friendships have been affected by the fact that all of them believe in God and I don’t.
Me: Why is it REALLY that big of a deal? I don’t have problems with my who friends do. I didn’t have a problem with you when you did, aside from your preaching, which we evidently rectified.
Kate: When I show my friend this powerpoint and he’s on the verge of crying because of it, it really hurts to look at shit that’s anti-gay. When he squeezed the shit out of my hand and probably was close to breaking my fingers he was so enraged, it’s a big deal in my eyes. To have a friend who can’t come out to her parents that she’s lesbian for fear of punishment, it’s a big deal.
Me: No, I’m asking why is their faith a big deal. It shouldn’t cause that much of an issue, between friends. And that’s really tragic that she feels as if she can’t do that, and her parents definitely suck for not appearing to be accepting of the situation. But you can’t just make your demands and have them met, Kate. Saying you hate people won’t make his tears dry or her parents be more open-minded and accepting of their child’s sexuality and person.
Me: By handling it the way you want to handle it right now will only have you viewed as a foaming-at-the-mouth fanatic. People are afraid of fanaticism. You need to approach things calmly and with a collected demeanor…no one wants to listen to someone who seems rabid.
Kate: I don’t care. I really don’t.
Me: Then you don’t care enough to do it right and you aren’t going to get anywhere and you’ll be floundering in futility, defeating your self-defined purpose. Sounds to me like a waste of time, hm?
Kate: Jenn, stop with the self-righteous, condescending shit. You know I don’t care and by trying to lead me down the right path to approach this, you’re just making me more pissed. You have awful timing.
Me: I’m not being condescending.
Kate: You are. It sure sounds like it.
Me: You’re notorious for your misperception of tones in online conversation.
Me: But what I’m saying is more like, y’know, an eye for an eye, blah blah, world’s blind, etc.
Me: [Unless there was like a pirate or something. Because then, y'know, uneven number of eyes, and then the world wouldn't really be blind...just depth-perception and peripheral-vision-challenged.]
Kate: Hah. Nice.
Me: But on a serious note, I’m not being condescending, and I’m not trying to act holier-than-thou [ironic, hah]. Just saying that you might reap better results if you did it differently, is all.
Me: Like for example, if a hardcore rabid vegetarian approaches me saying I’m a bad person, etc, I’m not going to want to listen to what they have to say, because they’re being hostile and rude. However, if someone approaches me with a slightly more amicable demeanor, I’d be more inclined to share words, or at least hear them.
Me: Understand?

But I guess she didn’t, because I didn’t get a response.
How disappointing.

It felt as if she thought that I was trying to scorn her opinion, and I’m not. She knows full well how I feel [but also seems to forget that it affects her other friends such as Kelsey and I just as much as it affects her friend Walker...we just seem to have a bit more backbone than the boy, hrm], but fighting fire with fire doesn’t always work.
Damn kids. So young, so angry…

Wow, normally I would never blog about something that originated on MySpace, but it’s just so irksome to me, so fuck it.

Despite being sixteen-going-on-seventeen or seventeen-going-on-eighteen, many kids around here still frequent some summer camps. A few in particular would be Camp Hanover, Montreat [both Christian-based although apparently not terribly preachy], and then Nature Camp. I have friends that go to all three.

One of them, Kate, recently returned. She went to the illustrious Nature Camp in Vesuvius, VA. On her experiences and nostalgia there, she posted a bulletin on MySpace:

As I was cleaning my room, I decided to listen to the N.C. CD.
I started getting real emotional. ‘Twas bad.
I really miss that place. You have no idea.

No matter what, I’m going back next summer, either as a camper or councelor.
After that, I’m hoping to get a councelor position.
And when I can no longer do that, I’m joining the foundation and whatnot.

I am not losing Nature Camp as part of my life, no matter where I live.
Becase, you know, I plan on living in Japan.
I’ll come back as often as possible just so I can come back to camp.

I love that place that much.
I wish everyone else knew how wonderful Nature Camp is.
It wouldn’t make me sound so dorky.

Thank you for all the N.C. kids out there who fully understand all of this.

Now, Kate’s one of those people who is head-over-heels obnoxiously into Japanese culture and all that. [Don't get me wrong! I think it's pretty damn nifty myself, and I certainly wouldn't mind visiting or even learning Japanese...but there are limits, folks.] Sometimes, as invented by the cesspool that is 4chan /b/, people of her type are refered to as, “weeaboos.” She also seems to think she knows all that there is to know about Japan, and that she will be fluent in Japanese by ninteen, finishing Uni, and moving there to be an English teacher or translator. She also, as you see, seems to think that a yearly journey to the US on such a small salary [you know, aside from such things as rent, utilities, etc] will be feasible without extreme and/or hardcore frugality. She also seems to forget that Japanese schools run on the track system–year ’round school with 2-3 week breaks, as opposed to our summers off.

I couldn’t resist, I messaged her back:

Very romantic dreams you’ve got, there. Good luck with finding the money to be able to come here every year just for Nature Camp. Do you know how much flights cost? Quite a lot. And especially in the future, with inflation, etc. Think first…

Her reply is in which she made her dire mistake.
I can handle people treating or referring to their pets like their children. That may change when I have a child or children of my own, but with the exception of Little Washu, the last five cats I have had have been bottle raised from just days old [by me]…so in that sense, they may as well be that to me, and to others with similar situations.

Well, I’d probably be coming back every summer anyways to see my family and friends. So it really wouldn’t matter and be totally worth it. I don’t care. The connection between me and Camp is about the same as you and Jeremy. Except Camp can’t talk. It’s my second home.

However, you do not, do NOT compare your feelings to an event/place to those that which a couple shares in a loving relationship. It’s downright insulting. Inanimate objects cannot have “connections” or “relationships” akin to human bonds. Yeah, okay, you’ve got affinity for the place and have fond memories there. Fine, peachy! But you having fondness for those memories is not the same as being involved with a person, and how dare you for saying so.

Ignorant teenage twits and their dramaticism…

The evening I returned from my sojourn in Pennsylvania, my father imparted to me [well, I suppose Jeremy too, since he was there] that he feels as if his health has fallen into decline, and that for the duration of my absence, he felt increasingly badly. This is going to sound awfully bitchy and cruel, but my father has a tendency to enhance such things for theatric effect…tl;dr: he’s a drama queen when it comes to health/injuries/etc. And that isn’t to say that I’m belittling the potential severity of what’s wrong…but I initially maintained my skepticism.

Initially, he thought it to be an arterial issue, more specifically, a blockage. While, if not treated, that can be a miserably dangerous thing, it isn’t necessarily difficult to handle. I’m not familiar with the procedure’s name, [and I'm not looking it up right now because my Firefox windows are a flurry of tabs as it is, and if I get to Wiki-ing, I won't stop] but they can take a tube-like line–well, two, actually–and thread them into a vein or two. On the end of one is a small camera to navigate and to locate the blockage and on the other a small, deflated “balloon.” When the blockage is reached, they inflate the balloon to displace the ilk, flattening it into more of a film-like lining that isn’t fatal. The alternative to that would be Bypass Surgery…just a tidbit more invasive, you know?

A few days later from that, now, and the pain in his chest [about his heart, he says] has subsided somewhat, but he complains of pain in a lung, the left one, I think. He has also discovered a lump which he indicates to be painful on the corresponding side, very near his spine [which I can't be skeptical about...I felt it].
He has concerns of lung cancer, now.

And honestly…I don’t know what to think or feel. It is an awkward time.

The phone ring ring rings… I hate to hear a phone ring, so I answer:

“Hello?”
“Hi, is Mrs. Leonard there?”
“She’s not, may I ask whom is calling? Perhaps take a message?”
“Do you know when she’ll be in?”
“I do. May I ask who’s calling?”
“Are you going to tell me when she’ll be in?” Somewhat snappish, now.
“I’m not in the habit of giving personal details to unidentified folks, sir. I find it isn’t in good taste. I also find that asking a question before answering one asked of you to be in poor taste. If you can’t be bothered with telling me who you are, then you certainly can’t be bothered to actually speak with Mrs. Leonard when she is in and able to receive calls.”
“…Yeah, thanks.” Hangs up.

Now, I’m no etiquette nazi. Far from it. I do think, however, basic manners ought to be exercised. You know, when calling for someone, you can at least identify yourself, especially when ASKED to do so…and you certainly don’t DEMAND information without sufficiently identifying yourself as someone important enough to demand a damn thing, let alone hang up without at least a half-assed, “Bye.”

I can’t remember if I’ve written a post about how much I absolutely hate being hung up on, but uh…yeah. It’s one of those things that hugely annoys me. Now, in this case, since the caller wasn’t anyone I actually cared to speak to, it didn’t really bother me outside of simple violation of, well, how to act.

Grumble grumble…

Now, I can’t say I expect all that much from great big companies, especially ones like Disney…but come on, can’t I at least have the bare minimums?

Mom gave me some money to order Jerrica a new swimsuit–she’s outgrowing the one she’s got–and its matching beach towel [there's talk of a beach expedition in August/September-ish]. It’s cute, it’s got Tinkerbell on it and such. I go to order it and encounter a ton of application/website/other random errors. I try back later, same thing. I try back the next day, same thing. Meantime, the sale that is going on is ticking down, and the availability of promo codes is diminishing.

Few more days of errors, etc. It then informs me that I am more than welcome to shop as a guest. So I do, go through checkout, have mom apply her codes, etc. However, it doesn’t show a deduction of the codes prior to finalizing the purchase…and my mother just blew through the thing and submit it.
Although I told her not to so that I could check things over, being as that, you know, it would be my damn account on the line.

Being ten-ish, I emailed Disney’s Customer Service thing, asking that everything had been correctly applied and that I had not been overcharged, expecting a reply upon waking [which was after NOON.] Every other customer service place I’ve dealt with via email has been very prompt. Not Disney.

So I called their department, and pretty much got the, “Oh, well that’s THIS section of the department,” “No, I have to re-route you here,” instead of getting a simple, “Yes,” or, “No,” regarding the fucking amount actually charged.

I finally found out by checking my balance online, seeing that it had posted.
I have still not heard anything from Disney’s Customer Service folks via email, and although I have the issue figured out, they haven’t brought up their end. How irksome.

Or at least, what I’ve tried from them so far is.

A few years ago, they had a heating mask that I used to use, and it was nice, although it was a little pricey. The price of some of their products used to turn me off considering them, but then I tried some, either by having enough money to afford or via a friend. So far there’s nothing by them that I’ve used that hasn’t made me happy.

All their toners/astringents work just as described and even better. I’m not using one of their currently, but when I run out, I’ll probably buy some.

Currently, I’m using their godly Pore strips which you’re instructed to use after you wash your face. The normal ones work just fine, but I have stubborn pores at times and sometimes I’ll opt for the improved Ultra version. You get less per package, and I do believe they’re slightly more [depending on where you purchase from]. There’s a bunch of cleansing, ilk-attracting stuff in the strip that, when activated with water, draws any stuff from your pores. Obviously it isn’t anywhere near as dramatic as the commercials were when they first came out–and if it is, wth @ your skin. It’s a neat product, I’ll have to say. I’m not really acne-prone, but prevention is fine too. :x

For my trip, I picked up a pack of their little Daily Cleansing Cloths so I wouldn’t have to fuss with transferring my pHisoderm into a little bottle for the week. These things are pretty great, too…they smell really nice, and if you don’t need [or feel you need] anything like salicylic acid, they’re perfect. I still prefer my pHisoderm for regular use, but if there’s any chance you feel psychotic and adding something for face-stuffs then…yeah. Not complicated or involved, just open the damn case, pull one out, wipe it about ze face, and boom. I suppose it would be especially convenient for those who wear makeup, and if you’re very tired and don’t feel like taking a whole shower or even just trying to wash your face at the sink, that way you aren’t wearing that stuff to sleep…it’s been really gentle around my eyes, so that shouldn’t be trouble unless you’re trying to scrub away at mascara or something.

I plan on trying their myriad of exfoliating somethings, but not until I’m out of my St Ives. Mrawr.

Birthday (Monday): I covered all of this in the forum. :3 It was, for the most part, a fun day. The drive to PA was nice, too, despite the hectic storms.

Tuesday: We–being Jeremy, myself, and his friends John and Justin [hehe, a party of J names]–went to Kennywood, the amusement park near there. That was really fun, especially considering I hadn’t been to one in about three years. I got my fill of roller coasters and such. :3 Oh, yes, and the water rides in which you get soaked…I’m glad he suggested that I wear a bikini and bring a change, it ended up being an excellent idea. I got to have real lemonade, cotton candy, and funnel cake that was cooked properly [last few times I've had it, it's been overdone]. They also had some reeeally yummy fries, and I got a slushie in a souvenir cup. x] It was a good day, except for Jeremy’s HTC Mogul falling from his pocket on a ride that slings you upside down. :[ I think I was more upset about that than he was, actually...

Wednesday: He had to start his new job on Wednesday, so I was home alone until he got back [5:30-ish?] I woke up when he left, but ultimately went back to sleep. Woke up again around ten or eleven, and lurked on the internet for a bit. The power then went out, much to my dismay, so I decided to take a nap until he returned, falling asleep to my iPod’s shuffling. He got home saying he didn’t know what to think about the place, and we went to his parents’ so that I could meet them and all. :3 Then we went to a friend of his to talk about con stuff, and that’s where I got to play SSBB…which disappointed me. I can speed run that damn game though, word. Then we went home and watched The Golden Compass. For the most part, that movie weirded me out…although I must say that I desire an armored combat polar bear, now.

Thursday: He had to work again, but I ended up sleeping till later in the day so I had less conscious waiting [yay] to do. We went over to the parents’ for dinner with them and his brother and his lady, Trista [girlfriend? idk]. Before dinner was served, she was trying to navigate Firefox looking for pictures of Pomeranian-Pug crosses because she haaaaas to have one. She’s also going to get it a pink collar, she claims, with, “bling.” I must admit, I was fighting the urge to face-palm through that[those] portions of the conversation. In all, it was fairly pleasant. We then went home and watched Live Free or Die Hard, which I found to be amusing.

Friday (Boomy Fireworks Independence Day): We were planning on going to Pittsburgh, but storms were forecasted and the actual deployment of the fireworks could’ve been compromised, so we decided not to waste the gas on a, “maybe,” event. We pretty much lounged about for the majority of the day, fired off some bottle rockets from bottles of Bawls for amusement… I got to try Bawls’ new beverage, a guarana-based [therefore caffeinated] root beer called G33K B33R, and was thoroughly pleased with it. [Tastes like IBC. Would make good floats.] Watched Transformers, etc.

Saturday: Woke up having had unpleasant dreams the night before, and definitely not looking forward to having to go. Reluctantly packed my stuff up [ha, I'd made myself quite at home], etc. We went to the arcade in the mall so Jeremy could get some ITG play in [which was initially taken by n00bs, so he had to settle for DDR] and so I could meet some of the people he knows that were there. We grabbed some food from a yummy little Japanese place there in the mall prior to leaving [around 5:30~]. Didn’t, however, end up getting back here until around eleven, hitting storms just as we arrived. I kept him overnight, not wanting him to have to turn about and drive home so soon. My little sister was happy to see us back, and my older cat is finally warming up to him [he's skeptical of people].

So now it is Monday evening, and we’re apart again. He had to work again today, and found himself bored. I’m still searching, again, for work, with no avail.

That was a lovely little escape and I am hardly ready to be back here, back to dull lonely monotony.
Eventually, it won’t just be a fantasy to be there. Not too long…not soon enough, but y’know.