Archive for the 'musings' Category
A conversation, based off of seeing only the third Michael Bay Transformers movie and none prior:
Me: why are there no female Transformers?
Him: I would think that giant alien robots would be genderless
but they are identified as “male” because the toys were marketed to boys
a “female” transformer wouldn’t sell
because, you know
fights and stuff
she wouldn’t be tough
she would just be kidnapped over and over again
Him: also, what would she transform into?
April 01 2013 | musings and waffle | Comments Off
Of the two books I’ve read in the past five days, both were written by men named “David”, describe acts of marijuana shotgunning, and also numerous instances of listening to Kate Bush, who, I might mention, also made an appearance in my conscious world via the Olympics Closing Ceremony yesterday.
Am I ok?
August 14 2012 | music and musings and words | 1 Comment »
A year is quite a curious marker of time. When said, it sound so short, yet so much happens in that time span. For instance, it’s interesting to think that three years ago, I was still performing and considerably invested in video game music. Now, all my energies are ensconced in the classical music scene–which the video game band was based in, but could also arguably be defined as the “foundation” of my life.
In the past, this blog has chronicled my challenging (challenged? I hope not.) pursuit of an ensemble librarianship career; and while this continues to progress, the more recent fact is that the end goal is apparently still a bit of a mysterious career, and an even more mysterious career choice. I’m still not entirely sure my parents or friends know what it is exactly that I do. Attending the annual orchestra library conference is akin to therapy; I am surrounded for three/four days by people who understand exactly – if not more so – what I deal with in the workplace. The lack of understanding not only by laymen but oftentimes the very organization for which this position is essential can be, well, trying.
Yet, last night, on the last day of camp, amidst many gracious thanks, a tearful teenage girl who works part-time as an orchestra librarian for a local ensemble told me that I was an “inspiration.”
No one has ever called me that before. I hope she isn’t mistaken. But her words remind me more vividly than anything in recent memory of why we do what we do despite the relative lack of comprehension: as many seasoned professionals of the field will quip, this is not a profession for those who seek fame or fortune. We do this because we not only love it, but we believe in it. No complaint is truly that serious. It’s a genuine labor of love, just as much as it is for those who perform from the music I prepare, and the small things are what keep us going, in more ways than one. A simple “thank you” can fuel the fires for months; a box of chocolates can keep a library happy for even more.
Who knows what the next year will bring. But I know that I’m not deviating from this path anytime soon. And I told the girl to work hard too, so we could meet again someday, as colleagues.
August 06 2012 | music and musings and travels | Comments Off
Happy belated birthday, as per usual, to my darling pocket universe. In my defense, I was thinking all day of this site the day of the birthday itself. But, as per usual again, the day became too busy for constructing a worthy post.
This site has chronicled many significant instances and whatnot of my life, but the more open things become online, the less inclined I am to share anything at all. I still have the Twitter, I don’t have Facebook anymore, I still have that very silly orchestra library Tumblr…and life is, for the most part, simpler and vibrant. But, with much that is still missing – that I am still working to achieve – I’m just that much more reluctant to report on anything.
And then hopefully, someday soon, I’ll have something truly worth reporting, for both me and you.
July 24 2012 | musings | 1 Comment »
It’s still July 20th somewhere on this planet.
Another birthday passes by for little pocket universe – always on the mind, but never quite as cared for as it should be.
Greetings from Massachusetts, where I am attending the Tanglewood Music Center. It’s been a very long day, a very busy time here thus far.
So for now, just a happy birthday.
July 21 2011 | music and musings and travels | 3 Comments »
The meaning of life just might be in the key of B-flat Major. Specifically in Beethoven’s Piano Trio, Op. 97 (“Archduke”), especially if performed by du Pre, Zukerman, and Barenboim.
Staring out the window at some nature (instead of completing homework!) while listening also helps.
April 11 2011 | music and musings | Comments Off
Back in Miami, one of my favorite pastimes was to choose someplace with a window that served caffeinated drinks, typically a cafe of some sort (though never a Starbucks), and just sit in it. My only company would be a book or some homework, maybe some bowings that needed marking; other times it might have been the shifting environment of people, servers, and sparse nature (It is Miami, after all.) By no means a unique activity, a dear friend nonetheless often affectionately commented on and was bemused by my habit, which always extended to any city I was staying in for prolonged period of time. Namely, she would point out its essential solidarity. But when she herself began to go through a particularly trying personal period, I couldn’t come up with any decent suggestions for finding some quick inner peace except finding a cafe and haunting it for a bit.
Today brought another rejection in an absurdly long losing streak, and this one, by far, has hurt the most. I don’t feel like I have many chances left, if any. Recovery is not one of my strengths. To feel like my beloved profession and world is closing me off is approaching insanity. My next bid will likely suffer if the all-consuming uncertainty is not destroyed. While I’m lucky to be in a safe place, timeline-wise, safe is not the same as desired. I am terrible at accepting my failures and words which tell me I am not “strong” enough, not “good” enough. Here is a textbook moment of flailing.
I thought back to the cafes. When I was there, I was exactly where I wanted to be in all respects, and nothing told me I could not be there. I functioned and, with the purchase of coffee or somesuch drink, was a part of the functioning environment. And so I would keep going back. If I can’t believe in myself, it doesn’t matter how much or how many others believe in me.
I need to get out more.
March 20 2011 | food and music and musings and travels and waffle | Comments Off
transplanted and unedited from the Wikipedia entry “Glossary of Musical Terminology” [link]
con affetto: with affect (that is, with emotion)
con amore, or (in Spanish and sometimes in Italian) con amor: with love, tenderly
con anima: with feeling
con brio: with spirit, with vigour
con dolore: with sadness
con forza: with force
con (gran, molto) espressione: with (great, much) expression
con fuoco: with fire, in a fiery manner
con larghezza: with broadness; broadly
con moto: with motion
con slancio: with enthusiasm
February 27 2011 | music and musings | Comments Off
[written January 11, 2011]
There is a philosophy, in a sense, that every city has a personality, if not is one. Sometimes this personality is clear-cut, sometimes it consists of many other personalities. But like any personality, the ability to appreciate it is also an adaptation. In my undergraduate years in Gainesville, Florida, I was introduced firsthand to the concept of making the best of what is given to you; in Miami for graduate school, I failed to settle with her stormy, self-centered mentality.
I made no secret of my distaste for the city and its surrounding cities (one of which I grew up in) that so many millions love and travel to experience. For me, there was nothing to experience but a literally stifling environment (thanks in a large part to the hot humid mugginess), insolent and significantly rude people, crowded streets and airports, a struggling cultural scene, and the sprawling, un-maintained roads on which there is justifiably infamous traffic which makes getting anywhere difficult and stressful. Nothing in my schedule allowed for relaxation on the beach, in clubs, or leisurely shopping or sports. And there’s a language barrier too: Earlier this morning, standing in line for the security check at MIA, no one was speaking a word of English; now, sitting at the gate for my flight to Chicago, everyone is speaking English (aside from the French couple seated beside me.)
Yet, as I nibble on a real ham croqueta and sip a cortadito, it dawns that there are priceless elements about Miami and South Florida that can’t be experienced elsewhere. For one, the aforementioned food and its companions presented in their ubiquitous and strangely comforting greasy white bags is certainly unique if only because of its proliferation. Then there’s also the gorgeous (if largely private) Spanish colonial structures of Coral Gables, the beautiful Arsht Center for the Performing Arts in which many an epic event occurs for those that can afford it, the New World Symphony, Pollo Tropical (Seriously.), Vizcaya, any type of caffienated drink originating from Cuba, Lincoln Road, and most importantly (for me, at least) the courageous musicians who believe and are the reason the musical culture of the Florida IS rising gradually and with promise. In some ways, Miami is also a city of hope.
And while this place has never felt like home for me despite growing up and living here all these years, it is a home and a dream for many. They have found their something comforting in the city which so eluded me. So now I go to be closer to the city of my own dream. Though only here, for me, for now, is an empanada waiting.
February 09 2011 | musings and travels | Comments Off
Between targeted ads, Facebook stalking every action in order to target, and now the discovery that beloved Google’s glitches may be directly responsible for many of the stresses in my world, the hermit profession I predicted for myself back in grade school is more appealing every day. And I hope the damage already done is not irreparable.
As a little topper to my Internet qualms, I have been receiving some very strange, if not amusing, spam in my inbox lately. First there was one allegedly sent from [Captain William Adama], and then another from a man who shared the same name as a friend’s dad (My friend confirmed that his dad was in no way involved with selling “enhancements.”) The most recent one of interest opened with this tidbit: “dear miss, I hope I am offending you by writing this…”
“Samira Cole”, your sentiment and honesty are well appreciated.
November 16 2010 | musings and semi-facts | Comments Off