Me: why are there no female Transformers?

Am I ok?

+ [Cocktail] – Hysteric Blue

+ [No Way] – Galactic featuring lateef the truth speaker

+ [Pas à Pas] – Paris Combo

+ [Prelude] – Nobuo Uematsu featuring Risa Ohki
- from the Final Fantasy: Love Will Grow vocal album
- “I think they put [this] style under ‘End World Wars’ in the CD store” – [Tim Yarbrough]

In the past, this blog has chronicled my challenging (challenged? I hope not.) pursuit of an ensemble librarianship career; and while this continues to progress, the more recent fact is that the end goal is apparently still a bit of a mysterious career, and an even more mysterious career choice. I’m still not entirely sure my parents or friends know what it is exactly that I do. Attending the annual orchestra library conference is akin to therapy; I am surrounded for three/four days by people who understand exactly – if not more so – what I deal with in the workplace. The lack of understanding not only by laymen but oftentimes the very organization for which this position is essential can be, well, trying.

Yet, last night, on the last day of camp, amidst many gracious thanks, a tearful teenage girl who works part-time as an orchestra librarian for a local ensemble told me that I was an “inspiration.”

No one has ever called me that before. I hope she isn’t mistaken.  But her words remind me more vividly than anything in recent memory of why we do what we do despite the relative lack of comprehension: as many seasoned professionals of the field will quip, this is not a profession for those who seek fame or fortune. We do this because we not only love it, but we believe in it. No complaint is truly that serious. It’s a genuine labor of love, just as much as it is for those who perform from the music I prepare, and the small things are what keep us going, in more ways than one. A simple “thank you” can fuel the fires for months; a box of chocolates can keep a library happy for even more.

Who knows what the next year will bring. But I know that I’m not deviating from this path anytime soon. And I told the girl to work hard too, so we could meet again someday, as colleagues.

This site has chronicled many significant instances and whatnot of my life, but the more open things become online, the less inclined I am to share anything at all. I still have the Twitter, I don’t have Facebook anymore, I still have that very silly orchestra library Tumblr…and life is, for the most part, simpler and vibrant. But, with much that is still missing – that I am still working to achieve – I’m just that much more reluctant to report on anything.

And then hopefully, someday soon, I’ll have something truly worth reporting, for both me and you.

- I avoid people.
- I actually get drunk.
- I start blogging again…either here or somewhere else.

Take a deep breath, dear, because you can’t stop running until you’re finally there.

There must be a better way to do this.

Is crying a biological imperative?   Maybe just getting things out of your eyes.

We’ve been strong before.

for the mood:  A past one.
tracks: 

+ [The Man That Got Away] – Judy Garland

+ [They Can't Take That Away from Me] – Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong

+ [I Wish You Love] – Natalie Cole

+ [Dancing Cheek to Cheek] – Fred Astaire

+ [Here and Heaven] – Stuart Duncan, Yo-Yo Ma, Edgar Meyer, Aoife O’Donovan, Chris Thile

for the mood: withdrawal and paper procrastination

tracks: 

+ [Even if I Don't] – Rachael Yamagata

+ [Fire Fly] – Childish Gambino (warning: explicit lyrics)

+ [Pretend I Don't Exist] – Melody Gardot

+ [Hang On Little Tomato] – Pink Martini