Mog and Chips

She’s not getting it.

I’m not getting upset over my accommodation not being sorted yet. I’m getting upset being told I’m a worthless, good for nothing waste of their time that they have no faith in. Again.

“GO TO UNI! YOU HAVE TO GO TO UNI OR YOU’RE BE A HUUUGE DISAPPOINTMENT TO US! DISGRACE!” (I want to go to uni for myself too like)
“THIS IS SO MUCH HASSLE! HOW DARE YOU?!”

I mean… what the fuck am I supposed to do?! I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t! Everything I do seems to create some sort of arguement… even if I play the wallflower, somehow I’m still causing someone some hassle. I’m sick of causing trouble for everyone and I don’t know what the hell I can actually do about it.

And it’s too late to drop out, I’ll get charged tuition fees for the short notice. Dad’s just explained to me why a gap year is financially hell for them: if they’d told me that earlier, I’d not have been so persistant about it.

“I’ll get a job when I’m up there!”

“Yeah right!”

Excuse me?! Thanks for the lack of faith. When I know I need a job, I’ll get one.

But of course, no results mean I’m not trying hard enough, rather than all the jobs are gone or not for september students. I didn’t put a deposit down because if I didn’t get my results I would have wasted their money… but that was wrong. Yet apparently, driving up there to find a place is also me putting unneccessary strain on them.

Yes, it’s a hassle. But there’s not a lot I can do about it, and it’s not my fault that places want teams, then someone in the team drops out and we can’t get it. Or some bitch that hears about it by talking to me steals a perfect room right next to the college before me, and has a car.Or we travel thinking we have 3 properties, then OOPS, 2 are taken, thanks for telling me in advance! And then its MY fault for not knowing!

Gah.  I don’t know what to do anymore. I mean, I know to keep ringing around, and it’s the only choice I’ve got anyway, but there is just no pleasing them, everything I do is just… wrong, even if it’s something they want.

Trackback URL