Mog and Chips

Something I’ve been considering. Not because I don’t trust - I can’t imagine Paul just deciding to run off one day =P But because there’s that little voice in the back of my head going “Everything legal currently falls on your head and if something happens there’s nothing you can do about it, you have no power whatsoever here, and if he chooses he can run off scott free.”

One of the primary issues here is that my family is guarantuer - should he up and leave, whether it’s my fault or his, it falls on me to make sure the rent is paid, as he can just refuse. Should he not be able to pay the rent and I can’t cover it, it goes back to my family who will butcher me, not him, whether it’s his fault or whether it’s something out of our control.

Secondly is money lent - at a certain point the amount scares me, and a lot of morale is lost at work when you think “None of this money I’ve been able to spend on myself.”

And it’s difficult - I don’t mean to say “You’re just a manbeast, you can’t be trusted!” or “I don’t trust you to keep to your end of the agreement.” And I don’t want it to sound suspicious because I’ve brought it up so suddenly. The last thing I want to do is drive this thing in between our relationship and distance ourselves from each other. But I’m not happy having the entire weight of rent on my head without having some sort of safety net. Although the rent form has got Paul filled in as half the rent, if we get kicked out or for whatever reason we can’t afford to pay it, they won’t chase him to pay the rest of the contracted year - they’ve got a guarentuer they can nag, that’s why they have one in the first place.

If someone else was saying to me “I’m responsible for the rent, I’ve lent money to my boyfriend which is no fault of his, I may have to get a loan/credit card in my name to pay for something of his that can’t be avoided.” I’d say “Write up a contract, now, because all of that responsibility falls on you and regardless of whether you believe he will or won’t, because it won’t cause any harm if he won’t, and you’re protected if he will.” In fact, I’d bitchslap someone who didn’t for being so blind when the possibility is there. And then I find myself in that position, where I don’t want to say it’s because I don’t trust, it’s because it’s the logical thing to do.

If it’s the case that I look suspicious (or I ‘expect things to fail’ ) then perhaps there’s a way to write in a clause “If this ends because I did something wrongful then the contract is null and void.”

And of course, all information on websites are skillfully avoiding how much these things cost. If it’s too much, there’s no point. I’ve seen somewhere say £600, but that’s inclusive of children and owned property and whatnot. (edit: found one for £50, though if Paul and I agree on it I’ll be talking to them first to see what it entails) I just want something that says “In the event she loans money or must borrow in order to loan money to him, she will, eventually, get that money back. In the event that he leaves before the end of contract, 50% of whatever rent must be paid will be paid by him, unless something she has done has forced him to leave.” So I’m protected from shitloads of debt (to me, considering I a year I earn £3000 unless I drop out of uni) and family disowning me forever (They’re not happy being guarantuers in the first place) and he’s protected in case he suspects I’m somehow plotting to kick him out and still get his support for me to live here or something.

I am in no circumstances getting into debt on someone else’s behalf without something to protect me.

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