In the fall 2006 I started to study Japanese at the university. It wasn’t my first choice, creative writingÂ at another school was, but I had managed to miss my registration and IÂ didn’tÂ make it into journalism, so Japanese it was.Â But that wasn’tÂ so bad after all, I had always wanted toÂ learn that language, and then offcourseÂ there was theÂ possibility of studying in Japan.Â Although my love for anime and manga had decreased somewhatÂ during my three years in high school, I still liked it, and was looking forward of studying something I was interested in with likeminded people.Â Fuck yeah.
Just so you know, this will be a rant. Knowing the most common interests among the people at and around x111.com, this will may, andÂ probably will, offend you a great deal.Â I have nothing against people who are interested in glorious Nippon, I meanÂ I still am.Â WhatÂ I have a problem with is the obsession many people have. This rant is about that. I mean, I’m pandroid, what the fuck did you expect?
Another bonus withÂ the course inÂ Japanese was that a good friend of mine was also going to attend it. We where both pretty excited about it, going to university andÂ to study something we both have had an interest in since we whereÂ thirteen. It took us about three weeks before weÂ started hating it. He dropped out after a couple of months. I finished the course, but I never passed it. By that time IÂ didn’t give a fuck.
When I was about fourteen, Japan was the best country in the world.Â Final Fantasy VII was the best gameÂ ever made, Dragonball Z was the coolest thing ever. AerisÂ getting impaled byÂ Sephiroths Sword of Overcompensation+5Â was the saddestÂ moment in popculture.Â Pink Floyd didn’t have shit on The Pillows.Â Calling someone a baka and then, with a tone of superiority, explaining that it meant idiot in Japanese. Yeah, suck it motherfucker, I know Japanese. Want to glomp me?
By the time I started my second year in high school, Japan wasn’t that great anymore. Sure, I still had an interest in Glorious Nippon, it’s history and culture that is. Not becauseÂ of Final FantasyÂ or the rumor thatÂ japanese girls love western guys. They do, right? No, when I was seventeen partying was more interesting. Trying to find a place where you could buy cigarettes without the clerk asking for ID, and then remove all evidence of you starting to smoke from your parentsÂ was more fun. Hitting on that cute girl you’ve been checking outÂ at that party, and while failingÂ horribly, was more exciting.Â We where young and had the whole world ahead of us. Who gave a fuck about Japan?
Okay, I’m exagerating a bit. It was still an interest. Hell, I stillÂ read manga, watched anime,Â played Final FantasyÂ and listened to The Pillows. But it wasn’t an obsession anymore. It was fun, but shit, there where other thing in life that was more fun.
So, back to where we where. When I started that course, I expected that people would be kinda like me. You know, with a healthy interest in Japanese culture. Was I wrong? Does Tetsuya Nomura like belts and zippers?Â Of course I was wrong. Everywhere I looked there was oversized and stainedÂ shirts, neckbeards, bags with obscure anime references, awkward social behavior, even motherfucking goggles. One guy went around with a tail and cat ears. I didn’t know what a furry was back then, and now I just kinda want to puke knowing that I sat next to that guy during one lecture.
“Hold up pandroid, thats kinda ignorant of you to say!” No,Â saying that I’m disgusted byÂ a furryÂ because he likes to have sexÂ dressed up as Fox McCloud (“Oh, yiff me Fox!”)Â is just common fucking sense. There, I said it.
Sadly, my friend and I wasn’t in the same class (we had three of them, because of the large amount of students), so I had to brave these new waters alone. I used to talk with one guy during the brakes, he was pretty alright, although awkward and geeky as fuck, but he also used to play these dating sims on his laptop, you know the ones with girls in the age of 18 going on 10. Not cool.Â But eventually I started to hang out with a couple of guys and girls inÂ class who where pretty laid back, and not hooked on animecrack. Plus they where the only ones who smoked except me. But we never did anything outside class, I was nineteen, and they where in their mid twenties. I was actually one of the youngest in that group, most whereÂ actually in their mid twenties, although with some you could think they where around fifteen.
As you might have noticed, it didn’t take long for me to resent 95% ofÂ myÂ fellow students. That feeling was reinforced during one lecture, when the young speaker started asking why we wanted to study Japanese. When he asked ifÂ we did it because of an interest in Japanese foreign policy (Which happened to be what he was lecturing about that day), maybe two or three of the about 200 studentsÂ attending raised their hands.Â Japanese history? Maybe five people raised their hands, me included. The same result with Japanese culture. Totally, maybeÂ fifteen people had raised their hands during these questions. Then, he asked how many studied Japanese because they liked anime and manga. Twohundred motherfucking hands are raised. After that lecture, me and my friend got retardedly drunk. He dropped out a couple of weeks later.
While I resented most of the students, I loved the classes and lectures. My teacher was one of the coolest I have ever had, and most the lectures where incredibly interesting. That’s about the only positive things about those months.
Why are these people so obssesed with Nihon? How can theÂ obssesion of one country turnÂ an entire generation into weak, basement dwelling losers? Is it because of the bomb, Honorable People of Japan? If it isÂ revenge for the bomb, don’t take itÂ out on me. I’m swedish, we where chillin’ out during WWII and had nothing to do with that. Blame theÂ americans, the capitalist fuckers.
Am I being prejudiced? Yeah, maybe.Â But I guess that’s because I honestly don’t get it. I mean, as I said, whenÂ I was fourteen Japan was the shit. But I can for the life of me not remember why. Why was Japan so great? Now, at the age of twenty, I love french popmusic, but that doesn’t mean that I’mÂ going to move to France, wear a basker and say oui oui. And lately I have grown to love 90′s west coast hiphop, yetÂ I’m not wearing a rag on my head and cappin’ motherfuckers while smoking chronic.
I still love Final Fantasy, although in a nostalgic way. Sure,Â the death of Aeris/Aerith is still kinda sad, but compare that to the last episode of Six Feet Under and that bitch doesn’t stand a chance. Sure, FFX had awesome, never beforeÂ seen graphics, but Tidus was a fag with daddy issues. not to mention that horrible laughscene. Sure, FFVIII had great design, but Squall was a whining emo with a retarded weaponÂ and RinoaÂ was a useless bitch with daddy issues. Not to mention Zell, king of retards. Sure, FFVI was an epic classic in many ways, just look at that incredible operascene. But it also had Ultros, and way to many characters. The only one I can’t complain about is FFIX, because that one was a classic fairytale without any pretensions. Except Eiko. Fuck her. FFXII, the game which I actually braved aÂ snowstorm to get, was five years to late.
So, is there a conclusion to this rather inconsistentÂ rant? I don’t know, because I have just spent two and a half hour of my life writing about Japan. Suffice to say, I don’t like obsessed japanophiles. Grow the fuck up. Keep it as a hobby, not as a life. Your love for all things Japan won’t pay your fucking bills, it won’t get you a good job. And you will never become a samurai. Get rid of the fursuit.Â You are not Spike, Cloud, Tifa, Goku, Hachi, Rei, Shinji and whatever. You are JaneÂ or John Doe.
You are a fucking gaijin.