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We Are Here

Almost a month. It’s been a while, to say the least. So, where have I been? Wait, that’s a stupid question. I’ve been busy with real life, real life problems and stuff. Work, friends and confusing relationships. As usual I’m broke, as usual I’m confused, as usual I refrain from doing things I need to do.

I have been spending a lot of time with a certain somebody, but the general feeling that we are to much friends to be anything else is always present, and she sometimes confuses me to no end. I have also started to talk to someone I thought I didn’t like anymore, and that makes me glad, because I have actually missed her somewhat, as a friend that is. I have rekindled some old friendships, which feels great because we rarely have time these days to see each other. And I have lost contact with some other old friends, and realised that we really don’t have anything in common anymore.

I turn 21 in about a month and a half. Somehow I feel old, like I have already reached my peak. Which is pure bullshit, but I guess that’s a common feeling for people like us in their early twenties. What the fuck are we supposed to do? The world is so big, and we are so small, and we don’t really know anything. Nothing at all.

Yet still.

We Are Here.  

This entry was posted on Thursday, May 29th, 2008 at 10:30 pm and is filed under that time on the ledge. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

4 Comments to “We Are Here”

  1. Humane Says:

    I’m 21 mid June and I feel so old too. I’ve been married twice, divorced once, lost one daughter, had my blood family excommunicate me, lost a lot of friends and moved from one country to the next like musical chairs.

    But I’m not sure this is the same peak we’re talking about.

    My peak is more like ‘holy schnikes, I’ve just lived through what only 50 year olds should live through.’ I’m supposed to be in university, partying with friends, having multiple relationships and trying to understand myself better as a person by finding a career that won’t bore me to death. But what I chose to do I would never take back. Well being married to that creep in my first marriage would be something I would take back but I have to wonder.. would I ever have been lead to X? But I’m still hopeful. I’m looking forward to the next 60 years.

    That’s where I think our peaks are different

    Perhaps your peak feels more like a dead end road that can only push you back downhill? You may be broke but remember there is always money. Money to save and/or money to do something extraordinary. There’s also a power within you that needs harnessed. You feel you have so much to do but you don’t want to do it for whatever reason you have. Most likely because you’re depressed. You’re only floating along the waves of life expecting someone or something to save you from yourself. This power within you can help pick yourself up off the ground and running towards a goal. You don’t like being called lazy and don’t think yourself as one that is like that.

    I guess the most important thing right now is to be honest with yourself and your feelings. If you like someone, don’t lie to yourself by saying ‘she’s just a friend’. You’ll only be frustrated by forcing yourself to believe a lie. Next thing you know you won’t be able to hold back and do something you’ll regret. Also be honest with yourself with everything in life.

    And one more thing, you are your own world and you make it out to be whatever you want it to be. Your actions have consequences in your life. Stop worrying about the rest of the world because they’re not worrying about you. They’re doing what they need to do to make themselves happy and get along in life. You do the same.

  2. pandroid Says:

    Haha, always when I feel a little beat down, you give me good advice. Thanks! But yeah, I’m kinda at a dead end right now, and I need to break through it. We’ll see what happens these next months, summer always cheers me up.

    But shit, I didn’t know you had been through all that, and we are the same age. And hopefully, your next 60 years will be great!

  3. Humane Says:

    In Commie’s words (whatever it means): Murr

    It just sounds fitting. ;)

    By saying ‘We’ll see what happens these next few months…’ really won’t get you anywhere. It’s what you’ve been doing this whole time. (At least from what I understand of your blog so far?)

    Do you know what you want?

  4. pandroid Says:

    I don’t know shit, but that’s what makes it so exciting. Life is an adventure, so let’s just make the best of it.