the life and times of a pandroid

http://www.fivethirtyeight.com

Look at the win percentage, it’s so fucking beautiful.

I mean it’s like God came in your face.

Oh yeah right, I have a blog.

People are coming, people are going and I really don’t know what the fuck.

at the waterfront, this lively hour of the night, where the young people, who are so eager to grow up that they forget the things that never wanted to learn, roam, this is their hour.

and at the secluded part of the edge, this peaceful little hamlet of ours, you turn to me and say; “i don’t want to forget”

and in the deepest part of my mind i hear “of cource i’ll not deceive her, i’m not there, i’m gone”

As I write this, the 9th of July turns into the 10th, and I am suddenly a year older. 21… I have always liked that number, for some reason I don’t know.

It was a while since I wrote something with substance in this blog: I guess youtube links and incoherent ramblings about stuff doesn’t count to you but fuck you, this is my blog and I write whatever the fuck I want.

So, you might ask yourselves, has anything interesting happened in the life of pandroid? Well, I have quit my job, so I’m unemployed right now. But don’t feel sorry for me, I hated that fucking place. All the reasons that made me stay there are gone, and I came to the conclusion that I only stayed there to have someplace to go to. Now, finally free from that place, I can now try to get on with my life, to find something better. And you know, everything is better than ripping people of on the phone. Fuck telemarketing. Never again.

But I shouldn’t be like that. I have alot to thank that place for. Before my time there, I mostly sat at home infront of the computer, only going out to get out to buy cigarettes or drinking with a few friends. Or to smoke pot. But then I got a haircut and a job, and I got to know a lot of different and wonderful people. And that was nice, but now that time is over and honestly, I don’t miss it. It’s time to turn a new page.

Now I’m going to sleep, then party like a motherfucking rockstar.   

Fuck. You. Russia.

Man, I really get riled up about football.

Euro Cup 2008 is really bad for my economy.

Where is my fucking tax refund?

Lot of of birthdays soon, ending with my own.

I’m trying to cut back on the smoking.

Great weather and late nights out makes that hard though.

I pretty gramatically incorrect right now.

That doesn’t mean I’m drunk though.

Or stupid.

Just indifferent.

Work sucks right now.

I need to get out of town for a while.

Maybe clear my head a bit.

Not that I’m depressed or anything.

But sometimes you just need some alone-time.

A hundred years of solitude, read it.

Almost a month. It’s been a while, to say the least. So, where have I been? Wait, that’s a stupid question. I’ve been busy with real life, real life problems and stuff. Work, friends and confusing relationships. As usual I’m broke, as usual I’m confused, as usual I refrain from doing things I need to do.

I have been spending a lot of time with a certain somebody, but the general feeling that we are to much friends to be anything else is always present, and she sometimes confuses me to no end. I have also started to talk to someone I thought I didn’t like anymore, and that makes me glad, because I have actually missed her somewhat, as a friend that is. I have rekindled some old friendships, which feels great because we rarely have time these days to see each other. And I have lost contact with some other old friends, and realised that we really don’t have anything in common anymore.

I turn 21 in about a month and a half. Somehow I feel old, like I have already reached my peak. Which is pure bullshit, but I guess that’s a common feeling for people like us in their early twenties. What the fuck are we supposed to do? The world is so big, and we are so small, and we don’t really know anything. Nothing at all.

Yet still.

We Are Here.  

“I’ve been thinking of taking acting classes”, I say.

She asks why, and I reply; “Because I’m pretty damn good liar”. And it’s true, I think to myself, while standing on the wet balcony. It’s raining, not heavily, but slowly. Discretly. The kind of rain that makes you wet without you noticing. A empty box of cheap white wine lays discarded under a small table. Wet, slowly dissolving cigarette butts in an ashtray.

She gives me a number of scenes to act out, and I do them all. Angry, happy, sad, laughing. All of them. “Was it good? Should I do it?”

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re a damn good liar”. And while she says this, she looks sad.

Today has been a slow day, I mean really slow. I had a day of from work, but I regret not going there anyway. I have been so incredible bored, that I can’t remember what I have done today. The day just ran away… There has been something wrong with MSN, so no talking to friends online. My cell has been quiet all day, no one called me today, and I couldn’t be assed to call anyone myself. It feels like I have been stuck in a plastic bubble, and that the rest of the world just kept on spinning, while everything remained the same in my little plastic world. You know those photos taken with long exposure, where one thing is solid while the rest of whatever things that are moving are… like a line of red paint on a white wall. That’s my bubble day.

Metaphores are not my strong side right now. Neither am I good at explaining stuff. It may be the lack of cigarettes. The lack of things to do. Or maybe it’s just one of these days. But, shit, it’s saturday now. It’s a whole new day. Let’s go say hello.

There hasn’t been much to write about lately. I’ve been sick for a while, so I have not worked anything this week. Well, to be honest, I was way to hungover this thursday, and yesterday (friday) I was just lazy. I was out partying on wednesday evening, and I was just supposed to drink a little and then go home, but that evening of casual drinking turned into kickass party that ended about 5 o’clock on thursday morning. I had about three hours of sleep before I decided to just take the train home, still kind of drunk. Today I went to take a cup of coffee or ten at a cafe with a girl I know, and we where later joined by some other people. What was interesting was that almost all of them where gay or bisexual, and this was a fun experience for me, since I don’t know any gay people. But I have nothing against homosexuals, because for me it’s all about love, regardless of gender. And they where all nice people, and we had a good time.

So, that’s have kinda been my life these last days. I really don’t have anything else to say.