Well, I was gonna blog about this amazing little discovery I made in the men’s room today. That discovery would be…the Hiny-Hider. What is this Hiny-hider? it’s literally the entire stall! it’s a company nearby (Scranton, PA) that makes them. now, getting back, i realize suddenly after googling this, that not only has it been mentioned in blogs, it has been mentioned in blogs that realize it has been mentioned in blogs. BOOOOO! someone even wrote a poem about it (*coughLyzBaranowskicough*)
So ultimately all I’ll mention in retrospect is that this is very disappointing, and that I always thought “hiny” was spelled, well, “hiney” (i’m usually right in these matters, I’m a top flight speller)

However, this did bring up some other thoughts concerning bathroom stalls. Like why are there bathrooms with express lackage of stall coverage (oh god…my roommate just came in saying he was unwell..how so? “somebody set my ass to explode while I wasn’t looking”. How the hell does something like this happen with such beautiful timing?) even to the point of complete stalling?
Personally, I’m the kind of guy who likes to y’know, keep an eye on my proceedings, make sure everything goes smoothly, there have been a few isolated incidents in the past, but ultimately, if something were to go wrong, this is one of the few places that you really should be keeping as much control over as possible. So it’s really disturbing sometimes when you really want to make sure the voiding of the body’s waste byproducts is proceeding as planned, but you can’t do it because the guy next to you is letting fly and examining the ceiling for messages from God. and he knows YOU’RE RIGHT THERE.
now clearly, that’s a bathroom protocol no-no, as juvenile as it is, i’m much like Amelie’s father from the movie, peeing next to someone? big deterrent. i’ll even wait in line for a stall to prevent this. i’m psychotic that way. but my main question is this: why the hell would they bother NOT to put urinal dividers in?
Now, I’m not sure what they’re accomplishing by not putting them in. They really should be looking elsewhere to cut costs other than urinal dividers. I am personally willing to sacrifice having graffiti-free stall walls to have urinal dividers: hell, HAVING graffiti on my stall walls is something I want. It’s so interesting, reading all the random stuff in there. Sometimes it’s poetry, I’ve read some interesting poetry from the porcelain throne: it really is conducive for letting it all flow, in more ways than one. You get to read random, stupid thoughts while offline (hehe). Maybe it’s a cruel joke by the architect/contractor: they’re laughing secretly at the awkwardness of people trying to avoid neighboring waste processing (stretching it now…) O Cruel World! Give us urinal dividers!

on a lighter note though, there’s this one really really weird bathroom on campus: usually all the stall doors open in the same direction, but evidently the handicap door was too big, and would just jam the way out of the bathroom, so instead it opens sideways, into the urinals, which incidentally, do NOT have dividers. Imagine getting smacked in the ass into your urinal while pissing by a handicap guy trying to get out of stalls.