As I write now, it’s as I’ve come off my first shift as a CMU EMS precepting member.
But this post will actually be about the more exciting events of our CPR training. So for those of you who don’t know about CPR training, it’s done on manekins designed for the purpose. That’s a little weird. First off, the mannekins are quad-amputees, but foremost because of the really really odd faces. Our instructor drops a little info about the face being a real person or something. So I do a little checking up on it.
That’s wonderful, we’re doing CPR on a male torso with the face of a dead woman on it. But I quickly ignore that in pursuit of a more interesting thought. What DID Little Anneâ„¢ actually look like? So I hired an artist (yeah, that’s a lie, I did it) to draw it up like they do in police shows, and what happened was this artistic impression.
But believe it or not, it only got MORE exciting as the day went on. So the afternoon was devoted to pediatric/baby CPR, so as we enter the baby CPR portion, the instructors busted the Actar Infantry out of a big duffel bag boldly proclaiming them as DEFENDERS OF THE GALAXY!. Now, unfortunately there’s no picture I could find of them in their natural storage state, and the pictures don’t really do the dolls justice. Basically, they’re gray babies with these blue vest things and a big black button thing on its chest with screaming gray faces that look like they’re spewing killer sonic waves out of their mouth like some bad Japanese anime villains. In their storage configuration, their heads are screwed onto the crotch, which is far, far creepier. Clearly the makers of the Actar Infantry had never heard of the Laerdal philosophy of a life-like mannikin.
Ok, so I churned that out, I may edit it more later, I think I liked earlier versions of this that better fitted my awkward commentary style, but I never finished them, too much effort x_X
(oh noes, I’m turning into Heather! (^o_O^)

In other news, am I the only one who has trouble getting out of toilet stalls? I mean, the fact that the door opens inward pisses me off, it’s like they’re little death traps or those Chinese finger traps. I’m not fat, I’ll admit I have some extra pounds, but I mean it’s not like I’m busting down walls trying to squeeze in, but goddammit everytime that door swings in I’m jamming up against the toilet to get out of its way, kinda doing like an awkward standing straddle of it or leaning in on one side and jamming into that space so there’s enough room for the door to swing in so I can get out, and then my pants leg always brushes ever so lightly against the toilet. It’s so awkward, and well, disgusting. Mostly disgusting after the pants-brushes-toilet.
Yeah, I realize I have yet ANOTHER bathroom post about toilet stalls. So sue me, just because voiding ourselves is a foul and disgusting, albeit sometimes MOST satisfyingly relieving, doesn’t mean we should be doing it in the worst possible conditions possible. Just because there are more Chinese people on the planet doesn’t mean we ALL have to have crappy bathrooms (no pun intended) ( and Chinese bathrooms are sucky). I mean, nobody speaks Chinese, so the same should go for our bathrooms. Let’s go Japanese or something, and all get awesome heated, spraying toilets that plug into power outlets. That’s not dangerous at all for a toilet that sprays water.

EDIT: uh, yeah, the mannikin thing was spelled different on Laerdal’s site from the spelling I’ve always used (mannequin) so I just free-styled it
thanks X for the link fixes