August 13th, 2008 by Shades
well … this is just something I wrote out of nowhere due to boredom and current mood <.<
——————————–
A reflection in the shadows
Is it just an illusion?
For you are the one I seek
Holding you close, I can’t breathe
Dance in the rain, fly away
rotting away, leaving everything behind
Please let me be by your side…
Let’s sing and spread the love to the ends of time
show me the meaning of living in this world
Be there always …. within me
Tonight, I wonder if I could be gentle …
pulling you closer like threads on a web
Is love like this wrong? Does it hurt?
Becoming one with darkness
sacrifice mingling with blood
Let’s make a toast
to your dreams … to your darkness …
Until your tears dry up
… goodbye
June 4th, 2008 by Shades
well, I know it’s been a couple months since my last blog entry … but Dragon627 told me i should start blogging again <.< so yeah, I’ll give you guys an inside view as to what’s been going on these past 3 months.
life in general has been happening >.> bought the latest Helloween CD “Gambling With the Devil” a few weeks ago and am listening to it a lot. such awesome music.
I attended FAnime, an anime convention in San Jose, CA that goes through Memorial Day weekend. had a blast. I got my psp modded, which I am really stoked about. I can finally throw my old PSX away D: … I met with some of my newest friends in Livermore, which is a really awesome place to have friends. Also throughout the convention, I finally got the chance to meet one of my buddies that used to frequent AnimeOST forums and IRC. Yeah, LegendKiller is awesome =)
And just the other day … I got Final Fantasy VIII to run on my CFW psp, though it crashes on some occasions, which is a real bummer. but hey, at least it runs, right? :3
here is a screenshot of FFVIII running on the psp:
Squall Leonhart conversing with Headmaster Cid Kramer
other than what was mentioned above, nothing else has been going on really. ~ off to play more Final Fantasy VIII~!
March 26th, 2008 by Shades
March 3rd, 2008 by Shades
Flowers of illusion sail within the sea of madness
carrying with it are the very thoughts of our existence
The day I began to love, I began to see
the flames of our existence burning bright
igniting the world within
—–
promise me to never leave this world
so long as we remain each other’s for eternity
for the flowers of peace will continue to guide us ‘til death
—–
Beneath these waves, the lovers embrace
dancing to the symphony of everlasting life…
hold on to me as I become an angel of flames
—–
promise me to never leave this world
so long as we remain each other’s for eternity
for the flowers of peace will continue to guide us ‘til death
—–
Promise me you’ll become an angel of flames, too …
January 31st, 2008 by Shades
currently playing –
Artist :: Megadeth
Album :: Cryptic Writings (1997)
Song :: A Secret Place
Well, just when I thought it was all over … it’s come back to haunt me once more. Memories of what happened back in November began to resurface once again and has reached the point to where my emotions have become crippled. Why ….. tell me why do all these things always have to happen to me!? What the fuck am I being done to in order to deserve this ….
I never did anything to you so just get the hell out of my head and leave me alone, damn it! …
To battle my mind is a must, I know … but just how am I going to do that? I just hope I don’t hurt myself in the process….
January 27th, 2008 by Shades
well, I think this is my first blog of 2008 D: so here goes nothin’ …
I haven’t been up to much other than saving up to go to Conventions *eyes Phix* as well as being busy with work and school. Although, the last convention I went to, AnimeLA 4, was filled with awesomeness.
Things to look forward to this year ::
1. The launch of my 2-year-delayed project D:
2. Gigantour 2008
3. Going to lots of Conventions
4. Owning everyone on Super Smash Bros. Brawl next month upon its release 
:P
……and many more things in which I am too lazy to list right now.
Off to play more of Guilty Gear: Accent Core for the Wii 
Lat0rz! >:3!
—————————-
now playing ::
Artist: Megadeth
Album: Hidden Treasures EP
Song: Diadems
December 23rd, 2007 by Shades
*plays Final Fantasy Fanfare* ……
woot at finally being 22 years old as of 12-23-07 :3
*throws confetti about and runs away into the shadows*
December 13th, 2007 by Shades
fnow playing :: Buck Tick - Kyokutou I Love You (2002) - 06 - Long Distance Call
I just want to wrap my arms all around you .. but you feel so far away. Wishing we could be together, but the thought of us breaking up would kill me in an instant.
Living in a world surrounded by depression and agony, I thought I had nothing left … until the day I met you, apparently. From that day on, everything surrounding me revolved into the most precious things I can ever hold .. my friendship with someone like you.
Igniting the fuel within my heart, I was able to see everyone smile and finally understand my reason for living.
Knowing this, I’m not alone anymore
This long distance call I hear
it sooths me when I listen to you speak
keeping me alive until my day of passing …
I love you, there’s nothing more to say
———-
just something random that was running through my head while drowning in depression again tonight … *sigh* I hate when things come back to haunt me.
December 1st, 2007 by Shades
np :: Buck Tick - Six/Nine (1995) - 04 - KODOU
well, nothing to report other than being alive … I guess. I just don’t feel the same after what went on last night, although it wasn’t anything bad.
Thankfully nothing went on between us to to the point in making it the final time we’d be together. And I am sure that I might have mentioned this in my previous entry … but now that I have him in my life as one of my only friends, I’m as happy as can be.
What really sucks is that I basically gave my life saying what I did last night, leaving me with a very slim chance at thinking of what was going to go on from there …
Am I forcing myself to become a different person than I was many years ago? Maybe. Only time will tell when it is indeed time.
[a note about the song :: Even if you aren't a fan of Buck Tick, I highly advise you give the song a listen for the emotion that revolves within]
November 30th, 2007 by Shades
np :: Buck Tick - Tenshi no Revolver (2007) - 06 - CREAM SODA
Kuruisou da … Kuruisou da …
Well … tonight was cool yet awkward. Today I’ve been wanting to take my friend out to dinner with me so that we could also hang out and such. As he came to my place, we played a bit of Melty Blood: Act Cadenza on my comp before heading out to dinner. Needless to say, I got whooped like 80% of the time, hehe …. but it was very fun nonetheless. As we got to where we were going to have dinner, we both just start talking about things even I can’t seem to remember at this point. After having a very delicious dinner, though, I pull out a note of what I wanted to say to him, and pretended to read it .. until he almost took it from me, did I toss it to him for him to read.
So he does read it, and before he says anything, I told him to stay quiet about it, because I was sure on what he was going to say about it. So then I thank him for being a really cool friend, and that I really do appreciate all the times we hang out and stuff. After we’re finished paying and everything (we tipped the guy with the remaining change from our bill; which I felt was needed considering how awesome he is), we head on over to my truck to talk a bit more of what went on between the other Trevor I’m sure you all knew about, and myself.
At that point I was about to go crazy, as I did not know how to say what I wanted to say … and almost started crying just talking about it with him … But you know, this guy is extremely awesome, because he’s so understanding and it makes me very happy just being around him now. Letting out all my problems from the last few months in front of him made me feel so much better, and I am really glad for that.
