Damn Shadow and Tay! They made me do this by talking about this song so much!

Dress by BUCK-TICK

kagami no mae de kimi to madoromu usubeni no yubisaki
sono te wa fui ni yowasa wo misete
kuchibiru wo fusai da
ano hi kimi to yakusoku wo kawashita
ima hwa futari omoidasezu ni

taikutsu na uta ni mimi wo katamuke mado no soto mitsumeru
boku wa DORESU (DRESS) wo matoi odotte miseyou
kurutteru kai oshiete
itsuka kaze ni sarawarete yuku darou
ima wa futari omoidasezu

boku wa naze kaze no you ni kumo no you ni
ano sora he to ukabu hane ga nai naze
hoshi no you ni tsuki no you ni subete tsutsumu ano yoru he to shizumu hane ga nai
aa

wasurenaide ai afureta ano hibi
kimi no kao mo omoidasezu ni
itsuka kaze ni kaki kesarete yuku darou
ima wa futari omoidasezu

boku wa naze kaze no you ni kumo no you ni
ano sora he to ukabu hane ga nai naze
hoshi no you ni tsuki no you ni subete tsutsumu ano yoru he to shizumu hane ga nai
aa

boku wa naze kaze no you ni kumo no you ni
ano sora he to ukabu hane ga nai naze
kono ai mo kono kizu mo natsukashii
ima wa itoshiikute itamidasu aa

Well it would seem that my creative side was still alive and lurking in my head.

Found this cool CG in some guys deviantART page and emailed him asking if I

could use it. He said yes, which made about 2-3 hours of fiddleing with

PhotoShop worthwhile. Anyway here are my latest peices of debachery:

and

Dude’s page can be found here.

In line with the title, it would seem that things are on the upswing. They decided not to operate on my gram and just put her on a strict diet. She came home today. That is all.

Well it seems that my gram will have to have her galbladder out. She’s been in the hospital since last tuesday or wednsday morning. Took them a week to decided that they are going to forgo the minimally invasive procedure and do it the old fashioned way. took them a week to dicided that they were going to cut her open. Fucking wonderful! Bunch of quacking fucks! And I don’t fucking care if I’ve mispelled anything!

Life is as life always is. I work on maintaining a fanfic empire with Goddess. If you don’t know who that refers to don’t worry about it. I take care of my elders and try to keep myself sane. You ever try to do that? Keep yourself sane? Well it’s not the easiest thing in the world to do.

Anyway,  two of my best friends are feuding right now and that’s not the easiest thing to deal with. I try to pride myself on being a neutral ground but it’s not the simplest of tasks. I know they can see this and maybe it would be good for them to see what’s going on in my head at the moment. One of them shows up after weeks of hearing nothing, piles the shit on and then hangs around for a bit. Then the other comes around and does the same thing only to be the same story, just a different flavor.

I wonder sometimes why I even started to socalize with people and the best I can figure is the human need for compainionship. I mean, don’t get me wrong. I don’t see anything bad about either. And if I really did have any real rants about the subject they would go to a neutral party (one of which would never be revealed here) and that is the end of that business.

I’ve found over the past five years, more so the last two. That friendship is important in depths I didn’t even think were possible. I mean, my concept of those around me has improved markedly. I used to not care, now I can’t help wondering what others think. Some would consider that a decline, a weakness even. But I’m finding I’m becomeing attached more then I’d like some times. But in the same breath, I couldn’t be more greatful or content.

It seems that the shell is finally breaking away after all these years and revealing a very scared and afraid little boy with stunted social skills and a nack for saying off the wall things. Sometimes I look back and wonder how I ever made the friends that I did before I became aware of others. Guess that’s the question of the ages no?

http://www.myspace.com/u_2584

For those who have not been added already.

I felt I should update again. Tis a strange feeling. Anyway, working on more RP posts as there are two posts due. Also working a few chapters of Goddess’s fic and working on my own project which has been over a year since I made a new fic. The explosion of code on the side of the screen you see is supposed to be a last.fm latest track list but WordPress seems to have taken a few nibbles but deicided that it didn’t taste very good. X says it’s a blog system issue so I may just take the text widget out or try changing my skin as I know that sometimes something as stupid as a skin can effect things. Other then that, not much else to report.

30 Seconds to Mars - From Yesterday

He’s a stranger to some
And a vision to none
He can never get enough,
Get enough of the one

For a fortune he’d quit
But it’s hard to admit
How it ends and begins
On his face is a map of the world
(A map of the world)
On his face is a map of the world
(A map of the world)
From yesterday, it’s coming!
From yesterday, the fear!
From yesterday, it calls him
But he doesn’t want to read the message here

On a mountain he sits, not of gold but of sin
through the blood he can learn, see the life that it turn
From council of one
He’ll decide when he’s done with the innocent

On his face is a map of the world
(A map of the world)
On his face is a map of the world
(A map of the world)

From yesterday, it’s coming!
From yesterday, the fear!
From yesterday, it calls him
But he doesn’t want to read the message
He doesn’t want to read the message
Doesn’t want to read the message here

On his face is a map of the world

From yesterday, it’s coming!
From yesterday, the fear!
From yesterday, it calls him
But he doesn’t want to read the message here
From yesterday,
From yesterday,
From yesterday, the fear
From yesterday,
From yesterday
But he doesn’t want to read the message here
But he doesn’t want to read the message here
But he doesn’t want to read the message here

————————————————

Rammstein - Wo bist du? (Where are you?)

Deutsch

Ich liebe dich
Ich liebe dich nicht
Ich liebe dich nicht mehr
Ich liebe dich nicht mehr oder weniger als du
Als du mich geliebt hast
Als du mich noch geliebt hast

Die schönen Mädchen sind nicht schön
Die warmen Hände sind so kalt
Alle Uhren bleiben stehen
Lachen ist nicht mehr gesund und bald

Such ich dich hinter dem Licht
Wo bist du ?
So allein will ich nicht sein
Wo bist du ?

Die schönen Mädchen sind nicht schön
Die warmen Hände sind so kalt
Alle Uhren bleiben stehen
Lachen ist nicht mehr gesund, und bald

Ich suche dich hinter dem Licht
Wo bist du ?
So allein will ich nicht sein
Wo bist du ?
Ich such dich unter jedem Stein
Wo bist du ?
Ich schlaf mit einem Messer ein

Wo bist du ?

—

Englisch

I love you
I love you not
I love you no more
I love you no more or less than you
Than you loved me
When you still loved me

The pretty girls are not pretty
The warm hands are so cold
All clocks have stopped
It’s no longer healthy to laugh, and soon

I’ll look for you behind the light
Where are you
I don’t want to be so alone
Where are you ?

The pretty girls are not pretty
The warm hands are so cold
All clocks have stopped
It’s no longer healthy to laugh, and soon

I look for you behind the light
Where are you ?
I don’t want to be so alone
Where are you ?
I look for you under every stone
Where are you ?
I fall asleep with a knife

Where are you ?

————————————————

The former reminds me of a past self and the latter I just like the way it sounds

So I got that IC post up after running it though Kristin, the spell/grammar checker. I don’t know what I would do without her sometimes. Anyway I’m supposed to edit a fic today and I keep dodging it.

Anyway, heres a treat, my current desktop …>

Got the IC post to get up for Ancient Rite but it’s only a page and a half in. Got to edit goddess NaoXShiho fic still too even though we spent all last night playing it and others out over IM. Got other stuff done too since I had the common sense to sleep all day so I could stay up and work with her.

I only crashed for about six hours and got back up again because I kinda promised gram that I would go buy her new sheets for her bed yesterday and slept all morning. So it’s off to Wal-Mart with me in a few hours. After I get back I’ll try to get that IC opener finished with the sincere hope that it will re fire the RP section. But then again, if I don’t have the interest to write it today then it wont be written. And I still have that core for Lunar Guardians to finish and try to get up this month or the next. Not to mention the HiME project. *eyes spin*

I feel good to be back and be in the thick of things. I’m happy to be writing again. But that still doesn’t mean my timetables for completion will hold any better.