Life is as life always is. I work on maintaining a fanfic empire with Goddess. If you don’t know who that refers to don’t worry about it. I take care of my elders and try to keep myself sane. You ever try to do that? Keep yourself sane? Well it’s not the easiest thing in the world to do.

Anyway,  two of my best friends are feuding right now and that’s not the easiest thing to deal with. I try to pride myself on being a neutral ground but it’s not the simplest of tasks. I know they can see this and maybe it would be good for them to see what’s going on in my head at the moment. One of them shows up after weeks of hearing nothing, piles the shit on and then hangs around for a bit. Then the other comes around and does the same thing only to be the same story, just a different flavor.

I wonder sometimes why I even started to socalize with people and the best I can figure is the human need for compainionship. I mean, don’t get me wrong. I don’t see anything bad about either. And if I really did have any real rants about the subject they would go to a neutral party (one of which would never be revealed here) and that is the end of that business.

I’ve found over the past five years, more so the last two. That friendship is important in depths I didn’t even think were possible. I mean, my concept of those around me has improved markedly. I used to not care, now I can’t help wondering what others think. Some would consider that a decline, a weakness even. But I’m finding I’m becomeing attached more then I’d like some times. But in the same breath, I couldn’t be more greatful or content.

It seems that the shell is finally breaking away after all these years and revealing a very scared and afraid little boy with stunted social skills and a nack for saying off the wall things. Sometimes I look back and wonder how I ever made the friends that I did before I became aware of others. Guess that’s the question of the ages no?

http://www.myspace.com/u_2584

For those who have not been added already.