What you want isn’t always what you need

Definitely the quote of the week.

Birthday came and went with a wooshing sound as it sped by and I stood there looking at it. An ecard from an ex was the grand total of birthdayness.

On the upside, it’ll now sound a heck of a lot better when I say things like “I’m getting too old for this shit”. On the downside… maybe I really am getting too old for this shit.

So what do you do when you don’t have a clue as to what to do? Dive back into the web and start something new and fresh. Or something to that extent. Seeing as there are too many people reading my site and blog these days I figured I’d start a more private one here which will soon be tied in to a layout I have in mind to make a page all of my own and completey disconnected from the look and feel.
More of a notepad, some place to scribble things that are on my mind or to note my todo’s, the evergrowing list of stuff I hope I’ll get round to one day.

(edit: later copied from private blog to main)

One day it’ll all make sense

I saw that line in an artbook last week and I’ve been thinking about it since. It’s weird how the mind works.
Maybe it’s because of the impending disaster otherwise known as my 30th birthday. *shivers*

A little bit of this and a little bit of that

Halfway through March again, time to smell spring.
I’m also halfway through the Novell Certified Linux Professional training having just completed the second administration course. Very interesting stuff, but a bit much to take in all at once during 5 days.
I seem to be fiddling with half a dozen operating systems at the moment, which is cool, I just get random waves of information overkill every now and again.
After having picked up the Mac a few weeks ago I’ve been playing with it a lot and I must say, I’m very impressed. It’s a lot faster than I thought an old G4/350Mhz would be and it’s almost good enough for daily use. Almost, because ofcourse I couldn’t resist diving into the BSD side of things and the poor little box is currently spending a lot of time compiling software using the incredible Fink Commander. Le Mac really does offer the best of both worlds. The standard Mac apps are all beautifully integrated in ways that make the whole end user experience a lot more enjoyable than I thought possible. The ‘it just works’ credo holds true.
And there’s a lot more freeware available than I had imagined. Some of the things I’ve installed and use at the moment include Adium, VLC, SubEthaEdit, Cyberduck, MenuMeters, Growl & TigerLaunch, and that’s not counting all the software I know from Linux.
Some things seem to be noticeably missing for reasons I can’t comprehend.
Everyone seems to be so much in love with iTunes that there’s no real Winamp port. Now ok, iTunes does run a whole lot faster on the Mac but still, I can’t stand the interface compared to Winamp. I want my damn ‘normal’ playlist! I also have yet to find anything that comes even remotely close to Grabit, my favourite Usenet binary grabber.
Still, with the amount of buzz Apple is generating at the moment and switchers crawling out of the woodworks by the thousands (or so it seems), it can’t be long before more of that kind of software surfaces. And if not I still have my linux ports, hehe.

The new version of Os X, codename Tiger is rumoured to be released in April at which time all the Macs will be bumped to 512MB standard, so anyone wishing to buy one would be wise to wait another month.

I’m not getting one because I’m broke as f00k and I got shafted with my contract renewal. A lousy $50 a month rise…. whoopdee-fucking-doodaa. That’s inflation correction, not a raise. That still leaves me about $500 short compared to what I used to make. *grumbles* In a bizarre twist of fate they have agreed to pay me a MCSA training so I’ll actually know what I’m doing with the new SBS 2003 server we just got, I’m looking forward to that. so in a few months time I’ll have done enough and had enough training to go from admin n00b to fully qualified Linux and Windows sysadmin.
Not bad. Now if I could just afford the car check up next week life would look a whole lot sunnier.

C’est la vie.

Where do you want to go today?

I’m starting to get to that point where that line between work and hobby fade, quite possibly for the first time in my ‘career’, which I’m starting to like.
So the money’s not all that, but I kinda like the fact that I’m driving to work wondering what I’m going to fiddle with today.

Spent a lot of time this week on a Suse box which has been setup as a proxy and firewall for the second DSL line. And it’s working beautifully. I’m using Squid for the proxy, which took quite a while to figure out. It works out of the box but seeing as I’m using 2 NIC’s to bridge between the local network and the web and I wanted to set it up in a particular way that the proxy isn’t visible from the outside, all the traffic to the box HAS to go through the proxy and I wanted to implement access control lists so the main users only have limited access whereas me and my colleague have full access plus several other more advanced thingies I won’t bore you with… it took a while. Especially seeing as the config file is a (well documented) 55 page monster.
Ntop is a beautiful script for network stats with all the details and lovely views you could possibly ask for.

So all of this fiddling is making me like Linux more and more. It may take a little more time to set it up correctly than on Windows but it sure as hell is worth the effort.
Hehe, I still have to figure out why the damn thing is able to send out mails over the net without me having configured anything for mail. No smtp, no nothing, and trust me, I’ve checked everywhere, but when I use the mail command it still manages to send it out.

Meanwhile we upgraded our fileserver last week which was chugging along on Fedora Core 1 (don’t look at me, it wasn’t my idea) and spitting out 5MB worth of errorlogs on Samba alone each day to Core 3 and it’s been running silky smooth eversince. Ofcourse I plan on moving that to Suse as well eventually but for now this’ll do.

I have my second training in about 2 weeks, I’m looking forward to that, more tips and tricks and another step closer to becoming a NCLP.

In other random news, I bought an Apple! By accident, sort of…
I’d been bidding on some for a while, always making low bids and hoping I’d get lucky. But with the busyness and financial setbacks I’d forgotten about them, until some dude mailed me saying I’d won. So I went ‘eh’ and had to scroll back through my mail to see exactly what he was referring to, at which time the ‘eh’ changed to ‘ooooh’. So I’m now the proud new owner of a G4 PowerMac. It’s an old thing, running at 350Mhz, but it’s My First Mac so I’m still pretty damn pleased with it. Thanks to Commie for picking it up for me. )

Opzij opzij opzij

maak plaats maak plaats maak plaats, we hebben ongelofelijke haast.

*dramatic pause*
So… what’s new? Well, I’ve been rather down with the flu which was fun (lost some weight in all the right places, mwaha), and had my first course for Novell Linux Certified Professional last week.
It was cool, and boring.
Cool because I learned a few nifty tricks, boring because I already knew most of the stuff. Which is good I suppose because it’s nice to see your knowledge validated in a group of peers. Next month the second course, and then the month after that the third. After which I hope to pass the exam, and which will also mark the end of my 6 month contract… interesting times.
Work’s interesting, still learning new stuff each day. Some people need a major attitude adjustment though. Barking at me to fix something they b0rked in the first place is _not_ the best way to get me to move my butt.
What else… well, a lot, or not much, depending on your point of view.
On the surface not much, but…
I’m testing a CVS (pre-alpha) release of the new phpBB3, codename Olympus, which is remarkably stable and which has enough features and novelties to make any site admin go ‘Sjwwwwwing’.
First beta is expected for March, don’t hold your breath though, their milestones have been slipping and sliding all over the calendar. Still, kudos for them saying fuck it and continueing work despite all the whinos and for sticking to their high level of excellence.
Any and all potential new features for are on hold until that version gets here, so that’s leaving me with a site I feel is getting a little stale at times.
Once upon a long time ago this started as my personal php experiment which I (and Corvo) fiddled on, but these days I can’t just do that anymore because a lot of people come here, have their blogs and forum here and I want to make sure all of that is available at any time.
So I’m probably going to start a little subcorner for myself around here somewhere soon just so I can scratch my itch whenever I feel like experimenting with gfx/php a bit.
Semi-random topic switch: it’s time for summer. I’ve had it with winter. It’s not enough to be broke and have no time or anything, nooooo, the weather’s gotta suck as well. Well damn it, enough. I want sun and a few nights off with a couple of mates sipping cool ones or cruisin’.
Hmmm, time to poke everyone else perhaps.

And I want a Mac, so if anyone has a spare one… Mehehe, right. Ah well, I had to try.

If I could save time in a bottle

First time I heard this song was a long time ago in a galaxy far away when it was sung during an episode of the original Muppet Show (yes, THAT long ago).
It impressed me then (along with the sjweet Muppet act who was drinking some potion of youth during the song and kept p00fing into a younger version) but I never could find it later on.
Until something today made me think of it and I searched Google (again).
Good karma ;)

ps, for all blind bats, the title’s a link.

and so…

I typed this huge entry a couple of days ago, and reading it after I finished decided it was a bit too private.
So if you saw it on the forum in the list of recent blogentries and wondered why it didn’t show up when clicking on it, that’s why, I saved it as a private entry.
Currently I’m working on finishing up some bits and pieces around the site I never took the time to finish and which would piss me off knowing that I hadn’t finished them (which would include fixing that private entry showing up, my personal blogskin and other stuff, as well as some tweaks which will make managing the site easier…).

Currently listening to:
Frank Boeijen – Waar kom jij vandaan?

Turn up my collar

Megadeth’s Addicted to chaos:
#Light shined on my path,
Turn bad days into good
Turn breakdowns into blocks, I smashed ’em
Cause I could
My brain was labored, my head would spin
Don’t let me down, don’t give up, don’t give in
The rain comes down, cold wind blows
The plans we made are back up on the road
Turn up my collar, welcome the unknown
Remember that you said
“One day you’ll walk alone”#

After a decade still rockin’ and still appropriate. The X’s anthem if you will.

In other news, Edgar will finally get to pick up his wife tomorrow and Garnet proposed to her bf, he said yes. Go G! And congrats Edgar, finally eh mate )
A’s dad died and I’m kinda (typical X language for very) worried about the impact it’ll have on her.
Ah yeah, and last but not least, I’m single again.
Still no job prospects other than the thingie Croga send me (thanks dude), which would mean me doing more of the same I have been doing. Which is not quite what I have in mind, I think.
I’m feeling… restless, and with each passing month as more and more stuff piles up I’m more and more starting to consider doing something radically different.

Turn up my collar, welcome the unknown…. time will tell I guess, we’ll see. But somehow I like the idea of being the same person in the same place doing the same things one year from now even less than the current turmoil and uncertainty.


Several inches of snow laying outside, my drive to work this morning was more sliding than driving.
Winter weather, winter mood.
My subconscious is annoying the fuck out of me, while I’m rationally at peace with some of the recent events my nights are plagued by sleeplessness and nightmares, waking up I can feel in my gums that once more I’ve been grinding my teeth in my sleep.
Too much has been going on and the knowledge that I’ll be out of a job in 3 months without pretty much any chance of getting a new one without totally switching careers seems to cut away the last bit of stability, leaving me once more to contemplate the future from a ‘Where the hell do I go from here?’ point of view on pretty much all aspects of my life.
Time will tell I guess…
It’s winter.

Work in progress... not home!
Trying to get all/most of the new code working before I start on the eyecandy.