Mega Piranha is quite possibly the worst movie ever.
Some piranhas in the amazon start growing exponentially because of experiments. Enter bizarro fest, starting with a plot that makes no sense and contradicts itself quite often, to csi style camera work complete with woosh sound every few seconds for the first 15 or so minutes of the movie until they either ran out of woosh budget or got annoyed by it themselves. Obviously there’s blood in the movie as well, but whenever the piranhas chomp on someone you don’t actually see blood, you see they put a red filter over the area of the lens. Ultimate cheese. Oh, and for some reason whenever any new person enters a season there’s a dramatic black & white freeze frame with the name of the character being overlaid. Not just the major characters, no, every… single… one… of them.
At one point my mind started wandering until I spotted something from the corner of the eye making me ask “Did I just see a piranha flying by?”. I did. A piranha, about the size of a car, flying out of a window to plow into a building, chomping away at it.
Why, one might ask? Eh yeah, no idea. The movie deteriorated even faster from there up until the point where they survive a nuke. And then the brilliant conclusion is to send out men with harpoons to pierce the piranhas’ eyes. After they finally manage to succeed killing one, the others all die as well. Why? Again, no idea.
Oh and for the love of christ, if you’re going to cast a former “80′s pop sensation” for your movie to star as your leading lady, you might wanna check what she looks like before you sign the contract.
I mean… seriously. And no, they didn’t ask her for her acting talents.