Assemblage 23 – Storm


01. Human
02. Skin
03. Ground
04. Let the wind erase me
05. Infinite
06. Complacent
07. You haven’t earned it
08. Regret
09. Apart
10. 30.000 feet


There have been times throughout my life
When I fell so far
I thought I’d never stand again
I watched my dreams depart

These aberrations had their place
In the grand design
But it’s unnatural to feel
So bitter and resigned

Forgive me my mistakes
I’m only human
I bleed just like you
From time to time
So why can’t I convince you
I’ll be fine?

Ignore the writing on the wall

It just decorates
A place that I have lived so long:
Delusion’s vast estates

There’s nothing sinister at all
Gnawing at my soul
But these confessions that I give
Help me feel in control


No absolution comes for free
And it never will
And those among us without sin
Are even rarer still

If imperfection is the lens
That you see me through
Don’t be surprised if someday soon
That lens stares back at you


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Identity sometimes seems fleeting
An ever-changing tapestry
But at it’s heart is the foundation
The very essence of our being

Shed your skin
Cast off your chains
Feel the sun upon your face for once
And wash away the pain
Shed your skin
Be who you are
Unencumbered by the weight

Of hiding every little scar

At times the self seems in transition
A mere projection on a screen
But what happens when you turn the lights on
And things are not as they once seemed?


Who we are is always changing

A never-ending course of growth
But deep inside there is a pillar
Deep inside there is a soul


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Be still

Though chaos rains around you now
Only so much rain can fall at once
Breathe in
And let the air envelope you
And slow but sure, serenity will come

Close your eyes
Try to breathe

Feel the ground beneath your feet
It’s still there
The world still turns around

Stand up
Though circumstance has knocked you down
There is nothing gained by staying within it’s reach

Take strength
In every failure you endure

Our mistakes have many lessons they can teach


These walls you’ve built around yourself
You can’t take another step until they’re gone

Move out
No use in dwelling in the past

Bid farewell to all your fears and carry on


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Let the wind erase me

Attenuate the light of day
So I can see the lines and details
And not the hazy, plastic blur

That floods my eyes till I can’t see

Let the wind erase me
Like the memory of a kiss
Let these waters take me
Away from all of this

I long for anonymity
To wipe the features from my face

One single moment of escape
Then I can wake myself again


I need a respite from this noise
The distant roar of static oceans
Give me a haven from this bedlam
And let my senses rust away


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Like a grain of sand
Swallowed by the desert
Like a drop of rain
That falls from darkened clouds

I am overwhelmed
I stand here awed and humbled
At the feet of giants
Whose shadows stretch for miles

Staggering and infinite
And full of ageless grace
The universe seemed limitless

Without any time
Without any place
Staggering and infinite
The beauty of it all
I feel insignificant
Never have I ever felt so small

Like a century
That passes in a day’s time

Like an endless loop
That shudders to a stop

The world redefined
An existence without boundries
I am overcome
I am lost within it’s scale


Like a drop of rain
Swallowed by the desert
Like a grain of sand
That sinks beneath the waves

Even the greatest peak
Will one day wear to nothing
Even the deepest sea
Will one day dry to dust


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You’re growing complacent
You forgot what it all meant
And chose the path of convenience

The road you took to where you’re standing now
Was fraught with obstacles that tore you down
They made you drown

The path of least resistence called your name
A status quo you tried hard to maintain
But it wasn’t the same

Sweet denial, take your leave

You must have others to decieve
I’m so tired of drifting backwards standing still
So throw the towel in, if you must
Give up hope and give up trust
And I promise you’ll drift backwards standing still

Something changed in you when you gave up
When you decided that you had tried enough
The price was too much

The inconsistencies seemed plain to see
A swift departure from reality
How blind can you be?


Sung to sleep by sychophantic choirs
You preferred the company of liars
Who made you feel admired

But one by one they turned their backs on you
The ranks of your detractors grew and grew
When they learned the truth


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You haven’t earned it

You crave attention
As if it’s due to you
You want permission
To behave as badly as you do

You want respect, but
You don’t act respectable
You want fame to fill the void
Where you once had a soul

But you haven’t earned it
You haven’t walked long enough in these shoes
You don’t deserve it
You have’¹t nearly paid your dues

It’s so pathetic
This image you portray
Shatters like crystal

And slowly fades away

You want the world’s eyes
You need the accolades
You want the money
And all the empty praise


When it’s all over

What will you have left?
You’ll still be incomplete
Forgotten and depressed

You want acceptance
It’s all you wanted all along
You want forgiveness
From those who you have wronged


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Some time ago I checked my conscience
And found it wasn’t all that clean
A trail of people I had hurt
A sea of sins left unredeemed


Regret is a dull and rusted blade
That covers me with scars that never fade
These wounds, like a catalog of flaws
Serve to remind me of all the pain I’ve caused

So I resolved to make amends
To heal the damage I had done
But I could never stop the torrent
Of those regrets still yet to come


This bitter sadness overwhelms me
And mires me down with velvet arms
It’s time for me to face the music
It’s time to undo all this harm


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A riot of indecision
A monument to shame
A walking contradiction
Unwilling to take blame

You’ll fall apart

Before all this is through
You’ll let the pressure
Get the best of you
Drowning in your shame
Grasping at the air
Make your denials
But you know it in your heart
You’ll fall apart

An infant in adult’s clothing
A lamb among the lions
A portrait of dependence
And a total waste of time


The zenith of ignorance
Total lack of intellect
A tribute to dysfunction

The end of self-respect


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30.000 feet

Hello, if you’re there pick up the phone
I’m calling from 30.000 feet above you
The captain’s just informed us that our plane is going down

So I’m calling for one last time to say I love you

I’m not certain how much time I may have left, so I’ll be brief
I’m sorry if this message only amplifies your grief
But I couldn’t bear the burden of never having said goodbye
And the pain you feel, I promise you, will go away with time

I’m sorry I won’t be there to see our children grow
Please tell them that I loved them more than they will ever know
Tell my family and friends how much I loved them all as well

I’m sure that we will meet again, but only time will tell

I’m sorry most of all I won’t be there when you grow old
To be there by your side and keep you warm when you are cold
Forgive me, but I think my time is drawing to a close
So I’ve one last thing to tell you now before I have to go


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Assemblage 23 – Failure


01. Naked
02. I Am The Rain
03. House On Fire
04. Tried
05. Disappoint
06. Divide
07. Longevity
08. Silence
09. Awake
10. King Of Insects


Awake aware alone
Lost and far from home
I walk without these walls
So there is less to fall

I am naked
I have nothing left
My bones are picked clean

And riddled with regrets
Nothing can touch me
I’ve nothing left to take
For I am naked
But I can never break

Bombarded by brutal events
Like the rays of a sun
Knocked to my knees

By the waves that continued to come
Each time I rise to my feet
I am knocked to the ground
But I am an element
Nothing can break me down


Link after link in a chain
Pulling hard at my limbs

The search party’s lost now
The outlook is growing dim
Praying for wisdom
There’s nobody left to impart
But I am an atom
And nothing can take me apart

(CH) x 2

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I Am The Rain

Too eager to appease
The cure is the disease
And it’s only growing worse

Day by day it takes its hold
Divides its cells a thousandfold
And makes your blindness seem perverse

Out of sight and out of mind
Are deadly traits when they’re combined
But it’s easier that way

Sit and watch the world go by
While all the problems multiply
With nothing left to do but pray


I am the rain
Falling down to cover you
Wish me away
But I’m here for your own good
I am the storm
Sent to wake you from your dream
Show me your scorn
But you’ll thank me in the end

These amenities are nice
But there is need for sacrifice
You must lose so you may gain

It’s too easy to malign
The implements that steal our time
But it’s we who are to blame

Fill your pockets while you can
And try to keep the upper hand

The voice of reason sounds so shrill

Surround yourself with all you own
Work your fingers to the bone
And happiness evades you still


Too eager to appease
You’ve lost the forest for the trees

And it really is a shame

It is such a sorry sight
When you evaluate your life
You’ve only got yourself to blame


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House On Fire

Sifting through the ashes
With unsteady hands
Searching for the remnants
Of a broken man

A history of hollow lives
And low ideals
A backlog of wrongdoing
We never conceal

I rise to my feet
And walk away from the dross
Towards the doorway
Of our mutual and harrowing loss

The only way I know
To shake myself of this curse
Is to bring myself to something
That is measurably worse

I sought refuge in a house on fire
I took shelter in a wall of flame
I built a prison in my own subconscious
There’s nothing else left
Nothing else left to blame.

Emerging from the wreckage
Of a life that once was

Confounded by the damage
My own psyche does

I bear the scars
Of an insufferable will
And the tyrannical reign
it threatens to instill

Some seek control
By grabbing hold of their lives

In a futile attempt
To help themselves survive

I dig myself
Into a much deeper hole
Running from a fate
That I can never control


I woke up
In a column of ash
While the world came down
In a horrible crash

I was naive
For ever wanting this much
Using self-deception
As my only crutch

Footsteps diverge
From the path they once walked
Words are eclipsed
By the language they talked

Actions betrayed
By promises broken
Flames consume intentions
Best left unspoken

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I tried I failed to believe
In the reward I would receive
If only heaven’s distant sun
Would burn away all the things I’d done

I tried to no avail

To keep my eyes from growing pale
But my vision came too late
And my belief started to abate

Like a tide recedes from rocky shores
I drew back no matter how much you implored
I have failed to see the beauty here
Everything I loved has disappeared


Worlds collide without a sound
And flames arise from frozen ground
But nothing can bring back my faith
You tried your best, but I’m afraid that it’s too late

I looked into your eyes
For some sign of surprise
That I would question all of this
That I would stand upon that precipice

But the look would never come
As you just stood there growing numb
And your eyes dropped to the ground
In search of something I might find profound

Like a tide recedes from rocky shores
I drew back no matter how much you implored
I have failed to see the beauty here
Everything I loved has disappeared


I tried I failed to forgive
For the life you made me live
A confusing ride at best
And at its worst it seemed so meaningless

If there’s a lesson to be learned
Some sort of wisdom to be earned

It held too great a price
It required too great a sacrifice

Like a tide recedes from rocky shores
I drew back no matter how much you implored
I have failed to see the beauty here
Everything I loved has disappeared

(CH) x 2

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Just one more time
For the sake of sanity
Tell me why
Explain the gravity
That drove you to this
That brought you to this place

That pushed you down
Into the soil’s embrace

Give me the chance
I was denied
To sit and talk with you
For one last time

Did I disappoint you?

Did I let you down?
Did I stand on the shore
And watch you as you drowned?
Can you forgive me?
I never knew
The pain you carried
Deep inside of you.

I can’t forget

Having to see
The words that knocked the wind
Right out of me
It’s not enough
I’ve come undone
Trying to find sense
Where there is none

Just give me peace

You owe me that
To help ward off the fears
I must combat


And so I ask
For one more chance
To understand
This senseless circumstance

Help me to see
This through your eyes
The reasons I’ve been trying
To surmise

Though you are gone
I am still your son
And while your pain is over
Mine has just begun


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I lost myself in shapeless oceans
Whose depths concealed more than they showed
Beliefs obscured by mists around them
A legacy they’d been bestowed

Columns of ice paint awkward pictures
Distorted forms that once seemed real
Engulfed inside transparent textures
Billowing curtains as hard as steel

For all the noise filling the landscape
Whispers & cries with no reply
It’s quiet here within these boundaries

And thoughts collect like pools of light

My eyes divide the sky
As sirens sound in heaven
My will brings down the moon
And shatters it to pieces

The silence grew inconsequential
The day became a paradigm

A thousand years, a hundred decades
An arbitrary slice of time

I found myself with no companion
Except the salty earth and sky
And suddenly there came my focus
The world around me clarified


And so I walked in isolation
Hoping solace would cross my path
Ignored the road that lay behind me
And stepped away from the aftermath

I lost myself in shapeless oceans
Whose waters turned from dark to clear
I floated there, a tiny island
With no more doubt, with no more fear


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I forgive your weakness
In light of all this bleakness
You were merely human
Destined to be ruined

Startled as your brevity
Turned to my longevity

I can’t follow your steps
Can’t go the places you went
I must forge my own path
Overcome & surpass


The more I see around me
The more it does to ground me
At peace with all my limits
Grateful for all I’m given


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I want you to know the thoughts
My mind contains
I want you to feel the rage
Pulse through my veins

I want you to see the anger
In my eyes

I want you to feel fear
For your own life

I want to see the tears
Fill up your eyes
I want to see you beg
And apologize

I want to walk behind you
Without a sound

I want to burn your body
To the ground

Don’t let my silence
Bother you
I’m only seething
Don’t misconstrue
Silence as safety

As security
There’s an explosion
Inside of me

I want you to know the depths
Of my disgust
I want you to learn
The meaningless of trust
I want you to rue the day

That you were born
I want you to feel the fury
Of my storm

I want my silence to keep
You up at night
I want you to know the hatred
You incite
I want you to sit and listen

To me scathe
I want to dance upon your
Sorry grave.

(CH) x 2

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I am lost

The footprints that I left have disappeared
For now I am driving blind

Without a destination to welcome me
This road is just an endless loop

Every time I close my eyes
The noise inside me amplifies

I can’t escape
I relive every moment of the day
Every misstep I have made
Finds a way it can invade
My every thought
And this is why I find myself awake

The letters on the signs have long since faded

The sky conspires to swallow me

Paid the price
For burning all the maps to warm myself
I threw their ashes to the wind


Walk away
Time to leave the realm of the familiar

To find a place where sleep can come

For one last time I shout into the sky
To wake the ones I’ll leave behind

(CH) x 2

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King Of Insects

Words come easy
Behind a screen
When there’s no interface-to-face
To be seen

King of Insects
You eat your own
Atop an anthill
You call your throne

Kingdom of one
So unaware
As one-by-one your subjects
Vanish into air

Chatter to the wind
Make your decree
And save your venom
For the ones who disagree

Your castle walls are falling
Your body’s frail
Your window on the world
Is minuscule in scale

Burrow deep now
Escape the light
Heaven forbid you have to face
The ones you slight

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Work in progress... not home!
Trying to get all/most of the new code working before I start on the eyecandy.