Shin

My top 10 of favorite albums


Having listened to so much different music I’ve always ducked out of those blog meme’s where people tag you to make a top 10 list, it’s just not something I can shake out of my sleeve that quickly. This needs careful consideration and pondering. I don’t just want to grab the 10 albums I’m listening to the most at the moment, for it to be a real top 10 of my all time favorite albums I need to think long hard and include some music I might not have listened to in years but has still been influential. So here we are at last, my top 10 of all time favorite albums, maybe slightly colored by my current taste after all, but as complete as it’ll ever be.
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VNV Nation – Matter and Form

Matter and form

01. Intro
02. Chrome
03. Arena
04. Colours of rain
05. Strata
06. Interceptor

07. Entropy
08. Endless skies
09. Homeward
10. Lightwave
11. Perpetual

Chrome

A million faces, each a million lies
For each and all a chrome disguise
Prompts for action force reaction
Embody promise in a sheen so pure
Hurt, the measure of blind ambition
The testament to your singular disease
Against all wisdom you heed no warning
Your desires giving you away

If I could change your mind
I wouldn’t save you from the path you wander
In desperation dreams any soul can set you free
And I still hear you scream
In every breath, in every single motion
Burning innocence, the fire to set you free

Your actions turn conquest to dust
In portents of fate you foolishly place trust

Sense fear in your broken breathing
Resort to shadows till your body expires
All creation has the promise of heaven
And still you travel the road to hell
I’m saying nothing for the good of myself
But I’m still talking and you’re not listening

As night descends upon the city
The streets are cold, the lights go by

And in the stories of the people
A million faces, a million lies
They’ll never say they feel what you feel
That they can see the world you see
And in their faces, their expressions
A million faces, a million lies

^back to top

Arena

Before me plays the endless film
Relentless slpinters I recall
Each living thing breathes life
Only sentiment remains
To liquid born, from patterns formed
The sand descends with blind intent
Where the river takes me will in time be revealed

I cannot turn my feelings down

Beyond my means to turn my thoughts around
Expressed in every word I will ever speak
Brighter than all the stars combined
More than the waters, earth and sky
All that I wish and all that I dream
No creed on earth can replace or provide
In my darkest hour, the comfort I’d feel
Leading me to see I can be more than I expect of me
My beginning and my end

The first and last air that I breathe
More than the sum of everything that I will ever be

Above the waves with my hands raised
Dare the wind, lay claim to me
Knowing somehow none could take me
Watching the sun come up in vain
The only reason I can find why I remained
The need to leave the point I came to again and again

It didn’t matter how hard I tried
It took so long to claim that I knew how
Or what it meant to let go of this
To ever say goodbye
Call it destiny, call it fate
Chose my direction: running forward
Each life to learn anew, whatever may come

^back to top

Entropy

In the face of grave defeat
Are heard cries for mercy
No barrier of self control
No innocent composure
Abusing love and, like a child,
Inflicting paing upon itself
When the calling finally comes

Will there be no one waiting?

In blind despair taken in
By any glimpse of freedom
Sell your soul to buy some time
Infect all your longings
The thought that god has taken sides
On the path to breaking down
Disconnected but not alone

Scream to the tune of the background noise

Endless thoughts of what is wrong
Arrive at no conclusion
On the floor still nursing wounds
No sense of self to speak of
The thought that god has taken sides
On the path to breaking down
Disconnected but not alone

Scream to the tune of the background noise

When does enough become enough?
When does ‘no’ have meaning?

^back to top

Endless skies

How many years since you found yourself
Staring at an endless sky?

Unaware of yourself
Who you are and where you’re going
Only living
Only breathing
Losing all sense of time

The most fragile of things
Captivates and embraces you
Surrender and be witness

To this rarest of moments

You live within the sense
Of the order of things
What is truth
What is important
What defines you

No need to fear
No need to worry

About years that passed
About time you lost

Live seconds as a lifetime
Time it does not matter
You live within the sense
Of the stillness of time

^back to top

Homeward

The aloowed lands so far behind
As fleeting dreams still linger
Like distant voices through the rain
Like grains of sand cast from my hands

I never thought I’d go this far
Without a star to cross the seas
So far from shores I’d left behind

Still far from shores I’ve yet to reach

I try to find the strength I need
To calm the doubts in my beliefs
With the will, I know my heart won’t break

And if I have the strength then I’ve belief
If I have love my heart still beats
Here under stars
Far from home

The picture fades, the light recedes
The sound is lost in whispers
My recollections once clear and pure
Now distant lights that dim with time

I never thought I’d go this far
Without a star to cross the seas
So far from shores I’d left behind
Still far from shores I’ve yet to reach

^back to top

Perpetual

Find it in you, raise your eyes
Look beyond the place you stand
Towards the furthest reaches
And to the smallest of things
The sound you’re hearing

Is the symphony of what we are
Revelation will not come
With heart and mind closed and divided

No need of sun to light the way
Across the ages, we have reigned as we endured
Through the storm fronts we will ever surely pass
To stand as never ending light

Throw away the mantle

Awake from your uncertain hesitation
No way to describe or equate the feeling
No end to what is at your command
A million thoughts run through you
Concentric circles, ever greater
But you have always known
That this is not all there is
To your questions there’ll be answers

Let there be, let there always be
Never ending light

^back to top

VNV Nation – Futureperfect

Futureperfect

01. Foreword
02. Epicentre
03. Electronaut
04. Liebestod
05. Holding On
06. Carbon
07. Genesis
08. Structure
09. Fearless
10. 4AM
11. Beloved
12. Airships

Foreword

This is your world.
These are your people.
You can live for yourself today,
or help build tomorrow for everyone.

^back to top

Epicentre

I asked myself “was I content”
with the world that I once cherished
Did it bring me to this darkened place
to contemplate my perfect future
I will not stand nor utter words against
this tide of hate
Losing sight of what and who I was again

I’m so sorry if these seething words I say

impress on you that I’ve become
the anathema of my soul

I can say that you’re losing me
I always tried to keep myself tied to this world
but I know where this is leading
(please)
No tears
No sympathy

I can say that you’re losing me
but I must be that which I am
Though I know where this could take me
No tears
No sympathy

Gracefully
Respectfully
Facing conflict deep inside myself

But here confined
Losing control of what I could not change

Gracefully
Respectfully
I ask you “please don’t worry”
not for me
Don’t turn your back
Don’t turn away

^back to top

Holding On

I thought the future held
a perfect place for us
That together we would learn to be
the best that we could be
In my naivety I ran

I fell and lost my way
Somehow I always end up falling over me

And one day
I woke to find
The future had no place
for me
I was unwanted in a world
that with my hands I helped build

Where once was honesty and pride
I now stand broken and alone
Just a shadow
of what I was meant to be

They say that “Time will heal”
“The truth shall set us free”
Well that depends
on what it is

that you choose to believe
In this prison made of lies
We see what it is we want to see
And find comfort in this
broken hall of dreams

Does anybody feel
the way I do?
Is there anybody out there?

Are you hearing me?

I believe in you
Will you believe in me?
Or am I alone
in this hall of dreams?

I believe in you
You believe in me
But I have no trust

in anything
Somehow I’m always
always falling over me

Somehow I’m always
I’m always falling over me

^back to top

Carbon

A million points of light
Ascending to the sky
Monuments in darkness
Standing watch
Until the sun will rise
Screaming to an emptiness
Of how we once defined ourselves
With our hands over our eyes

Claiming all of creation

What inspires in us this madness
That out existence should be defined
By a light that can’t be seen by anyone
What inspires in us this madness
That out existence should be defined
By a light that we can’t see
By a light that can’t be seen

A million points of light
Ascending to the sky
Monuments in darkness
Standing watch
Until the sun will rise
I can’t see this all as progress
How did we come this far?
When we see ourselves as deities

Claiming Nature for ourselves
By our actions we betray
The instincts in our race
By our blindness and stupidity
We kill everything
We kill… everything

Can someone see our self destruction?
Are we reminding ourselves

That our existence is
So delicate
That without this light we are no more
That without this light we’ve made we are no more

A million points of light
Ascending to the sky
Monuments in darkness
Standing watch

Until the sun will rise
We torch this earth until it bleeds
Rain ashes from the sky
Just to make a light that no one can see
We cut this earth until it bleeds
Rain ashes from the sky
Just to make a light that no one can see
Just to make a light
Just to make a light

We kill everything
By our blindness and stupidity
We kill… everything

in 1000 years what will be our legacy
a million lights that no one can see
a million points of light

^back to top

Genesis

Breathing an air,
permeated, soaked in darkness,
emanating from within,
resonating like a scream no one can hear

I wear this chaos well.
Though none should save me,
desperation keeps me here,

my need for innocence,
the place where I began
The abyss becomes me,
I wear this chaos well.

Are these not words of heresy
a venom on my lips, a poison?
My spirit impurified
in everything I choose to say

With you I stand in hope that
god will save us from ourselves.
Every cry a wasted moment
until another day is lost.
Even lands we once called home
lie undiscovered and unknown.
Only heaven’s silence for an answer.
And did our laughter, did our tears

have some purpose after all?
Did we toil in vain in hope
that wisdom came from what we’d done?
Even lands we once called home
lie undiscovered and unknown.
Only heaven’s silence for an answer.

Are these not words of heresy
a venom on my lips, a poison?

My spirit impurified
in everything I choose to say

If I would shed my skin, the layers left,
but not the lessons learned
it would not undo what I have done
or grant forgiveness in some better days.

^back to top

Fearless

So many little things followed me
So many little things that bothered me. But I found my answer.
From all the chaos that followed me I have found my answer.
I’ve told you before don’t follow me because I am not your answer.

I am not alone, I am not afraid, I am not unhappy.
These are the words I say to myself everyday.
I am not alone, I am not afraid, I am not unhappy.

Tell me what ritual I should have today.
But I’m not alone. I’ve resolved so many things and set myself free.

I am not alone, I am not afraid, I am not unhappy.
The words I say to myself every day.
I am not alone, I am not afraid, I am not unhappy.
Such a stupid ritual to have to say to myself everyday.
I’m not alone but I found my answer and set myself free. I’m not unhappy.

I’m not alone and I’m not unhappy.

Not alone and I’m not unhappy.
I’m not afraid and I’m not unhappy.

I’m not afraid. I’m not afraid.
I am not alone. I am not afraid. I am not unhappy.
These are the words I say to myself everyday.
I am not alone. I am not afraid. I am not unhappy. I’m not afraid.

I am not alone. I am not afraid. I’m not unhappy.
The words I say to myself everyday.

I am not alone. I am not afraid. I am not unhappy.
Such a stupid ritual to have to say to myself everyday.
I’m not alone but I found my answer and set myself free. I’m not unhappy.

^back to top

Beloved

It’s colder than before
The seasons took all they had come for

Now winter dances here
It seems so fitting don’t you think?
Dress the ground in white
And grey

It’s so quiet I can hear
My thoughts touching every second I spent
Waiting for you
Circumstances affords me

No second chance
To tell you
How much I’ve missed you

My beloved do you know
When the warm wind comes again
Another year will start to pass
And please don’t ask me why I’m here
Something deeper brought me

That I need to remember

We were once young and blessed with wings
No heights could keeps us from their reach
No sacred place we did not soar
Still greater things burned within us
I don’t regret the choices that I’ve made
I know you feel the same

My beloved do you know

How many times I stared at clouds
Thinking that I saw you there
These are feelings that do not pass so easily
I can’t forget what we claimed was ours

Moments lost though time remains
I am so proud of what we were
No pain remains
No feeling

Eternity awaits
Grant me wings that I might fly
My restless soul is longing
No pain remains
No feeling
Eternity awaits

Moments lost though time remains
I am so proud of what we were

No pain remains
No feeling
Eternity awaits
Grant me wings that I might fly
My restless soul is longing
No pain remains
No feeling

Eternity awaits

^back to top

Airships

I pressed my face against the glass,
smiled as my breath made some pattern or other
The world beneath unfurled before me like a sail,
glinted in gold from this rich dawn sky
Awaiting the ship they had told me would come,

quietly anticipating that which was to come

I couldn’t yet see you. Still obscured by the city
A towers of glass reflected your coming
Silhouetted on the sunrise
Did I blink as I watched? Did I close my eyes?

I was not alone, I think it was the first time
Watching you rise splendid and graceful,
I cheered as you sailed, a greatness unknown

I laughed as I waved and imagined you saw me
In the streets of the city, the windows of buildings,
a million faces gazing upwards in wonder
A million faces together and cheering and smiling
You were the warmth of their hearts, you were the sum of their dreams
In the coldness of morning you brought warmth to their lives
giving this feeling of wonder I could not imagine
You unlocking these thoughts no book and no picture could ever convey
This feeling and morning had opened a door.

I stepped into a new world I watched you fly
Saw you as a friend, the spirit of dreams
I imagined a new world, lands far away,
imagined those faces as you hung in their sky

I’m leaving ground stepping into a new world.
I’m leaving ground, a new world. And watching you fly
I stepped into, I stepped into a new world
I was not alone, I think it was the first time

I’m leaving ground, stepping into a new world
I’m leaving ground, stepping into a new world
Now I’m leaving home, leaving everything
I step into this new world leaving everything

I’m leaving ground, stepping into a new world
I’m leaving ground, stepping into a new world
Now I’m leaving home, leaving everything that I have ever known
I step into this new world leaving everything

Leaving everything, leaving everything.

^back to top

VNV Nation – Empires

Empires

01. Firstlight
02. Kingdom
03. Rubicon
04. Saviour
05. Fragments
06. Distant (Rubicon II)
07. Standing
08. Legion
09. Darkangel
10. Arclight

Kingdom

Our domain, this kingdom come

now godless lands whose ways are lost
Without the strength to carry on
All values lost all virtue none
Did you think you would be saved
by burning flags to cleanse yourselves of shame?
Or are you afraid as you stare back at your face?
are you ashamed, are you afraid,
by destroying what the gods had made?
Did you think you would be saved?

I believe that we’ll conceive
to make in hell for us a heaven
A brave new world
A promised land
A fortitude of hearts and minds
Until I see this kingdom is mine,
I’ll turn the darkness into light
I’ll guide the blind

My will be done until the day
I see this kingdom has been won

No more the servants of the weak
devoid of thought or light to seek
I’ll leave no walls, no stone unturned
Every tower to be razed to the dust from which it came
None will be spared, no remnant saved
Are you ashamed, are you afraid,

of the gods and idols you have made?
Did you think you would be saved
by the gods and idols you have made?

None will be saved
None will be saved

^back to top

Rubicon

Praying for myself
These thoughts I try to hide
I have faith in me and hope this will survive
But it’s tearing me apart
I can’t hear the words by which I guide
So I must ask again who will carry me

I cannot deny that nothing can defend
from the helplessness that’s cutting deep inside,

and I can’t prevent the thought that nothing’s real
Seems I’ve waited years for this day to end

The strength I need to feel, the pride inside of me,
Are not there behind the face staring back at me
The anger and the pain of knowing where I am
I have come so far and I cannot return

Nothing I can do that I have not done
No words I can say. No truth left that I can see

So must I let this end so everything falls apart
Before I live my life as I have always done

Tell me what to do so I do nothing wrong
Something I can hope for. Something real that I can see
So nothing falls apart. So this does not end
I cannot return. I can’t start again

^back to top

Fragments

See the faces. Etched in stone
The frozen faces of multitudes
The songs of youth that sing forever
Immortal thoughts of a myriad of souls
that echo forth and on forever and on forever
All great things to come
Onward now and on forever and onward now

All great things to come

We few, we lucky few
Once more to the breach dear friends once more
The hall of ages to welcome them
The cheers of many
The cries of parting souls
Bravest thoughts of futures past
The golden years

All great things to come
That echo forth and on forever
and onward now and on forever
and onward now and on forever
All great things to come

^back to top

Distant (Rubicon II)

The paths that I once tread
have all but gone
Only embers now smoulder
where bridges once burned
I feel alive and yet I fear
what may happen now
I know I can’t return

And I hear me say again

‘oh let me not return’
Damn the illusions of redemption
and the hopes that held me here
I will oppose all that would befall me
With this rage inside of me
I will defy what I would become

The solitude and anger
that do battle inside me

will always guide me to the answers
that I know I may not see
They are the bonds that hold me tighter
They are the chains that weigh on me
One day I know they will be gone

Can I start again and erase this pain
by casting doubts into the waters,
asking judgement of the sea

Though fortune may guide the fools
I have no wish to be free
until I am gone

^back to top

Standing

Eyes betray the soul and bear it’s thinking
Beyond words they say so many things to me

A stranger here reborn it seems
awaking wonders deep in me
If nothing’s ventured nothing’s gained
so I must seize the day

And fighting time so hard I pray
that this moment lasts forever
And will the world stay standing still at least for me
Through my eyes stare into me

I bear my heart for all to see
With my face turned to the sun there ever standing still

It wasn’t you it wasn’t me it wasn’t anyone
It was a day so long awaited and a chance to be as me
I let the wind run through my hands
as I turned to walk away
In distant days I long to sense it all so clear

And fighting time so hard I pray

that this moment lasts forever
And will the world stay standing still at least for me
Through my eyes stare into me
I bear my heart for all to see
With my face turned to the sun there ever standing still
And fighting time so much I ask
I will this morning last forever
Though seasons change and things come to pass
remain inside of me

And fighting time so hard I pray
that this moment lasts forever
and will the world stay standing still at least for me

I had no faith before that day in any vow or deed
Days followed days and years were meaningless
Despite the wisdom of defeat
I bore my heart for all to see the wonders I’d seen

^back to top

Legion

Enveloped in a sentiment,
a sound that rushes over me
Engage an impulse to pretend
I have a faith as pure
Not forgetting what it means to dream
Indulging everything
Entertaining thoughts that I’ve the strength

of those I yearn to be
Cheers and tribute greet the saviours
Reckless thoughts survive
Anachronistic and impulsive

And what will happen?
Will I dream?
I am too scared to close my eyes
For a second please hold me

None can change in me these things that I believe
But I don’t know what happens now
I am too scared to close my eyes

^back to top

Darkangel

In your dream you see me clear
I have no restraint, no fear

Powerless I watched from faces I’d assumed
My purpose set. My will defined
Caress the air
Embrace the skies
Escape the sorrow and restraint of mortal cities

Give me time I will be clear
Given time you’ll understand
What possesses me to right what you have suffered

I’m in this mood because of scorn
I’m in a mood for total war
To the darkened skies once more and ever onward

So many years I stood among the thoughts
and tears of those I served
Among my own I was alone through my own doing.
All the years I walked unknown
behind the faces I assumed

Powerless to clear your mind of what you’d suffered

They fall again
They fall again

Give me time I will be clear
Given time you’ll understand
What possesses me to right what you have suffered
I’m in this mood because of scorn
I’m in a mood for total war

To the darkened skies once more and ever onward
There is no faith in which to hide
Even truth is filled with lies
Doubting angels fall to walk among the living
I’m in this mood because of scorn
I’m in a mood for total war
To the darkened skies once more and ever onward

I’d only come here seeking peace

I’d only come here seeking me

It seems I came to leave

^back to top

Arclight

At first light lay proud foundations
Sense the greatness that before you unfolds
Seek no more for hollow answers

Answers that lay within you all along
Farewell to dawns seen through saddened eyes
Farewell to pasts to sorrows chained
Forget your fears and want no more
You will be strong and want no more
You’ll be adored. You will have everything
You will be strong and want no more
Forget your fears. You will have everything
And want no more

^back to top

Work in progress... not home!
Trying to get all/most of the new code working before I start on the eyecandy.