Me goes to the US, part 2
Posted on August 25, 2007, by XIII, under Happenings, Thoughts.
Part 1 is here in case you missed it. Standard disclaimer; these are just a list of things that made me raise an eyebrow during my first visit to the US. I only went to Indiana and have yet to see the rest of the country, so I’m guessing some things vary from state to state. I hope so anyway…
Here’s a small list of things we found noteworthy:
- The amount of American flags on everything.
It’s mindblowing, either it’s the most nationalistic country in the world or they’re too dumb to remember which country they’re in, but either way I think it’s impossible to find another place in the world where you can find so many flags per square kilometer. It’s ridiculous. And that’s not even counting the cars where every license plate (at least in Indiana) has an american flag and a big “In God we trust”.
- The amount of fat people.
Holy cow. Well cow anyway. All the stereotypes about fat americans…. they’re true. It’s not just the amount of fat people that’s astonishing, it’s the amount of fat. We’re not just talking fat people here, we’re talking FAT people. I think you’d have a hard time finding anyone as over weight around here, but in the US it’s the norm. And I’d say at least half the people have weight issues, and then I’m being really friendly, it’s closer to 70%.
- Making a meal out of a sub (just add chips).
“Would you like to make a meal out of that” I was asked when ordering a sub at Subway, the supposedly healthy fast food. Me looking at Katelynd surprised. Apparently that means if I want to have a bag of chips with it. Chips is european for these things anyway, not to confuse the americans or brits.
- A red traffic light can mean: stop, go, maybe you can go.
- Children’s programming.
Too… fucking… scary…
- The amount of creepy churches. Maybe I’m spoiled here, with historic buildings meaning at least a century old and churches that go back over a millennium. Everything in the US looks like it’s been built in the past 50 years, and built in such a way as if they weren’t quite sure if the building was intended to stay up for over a year. Same thing goes for all the churches, and you stumble across them at a rate of 1 church after every 10 american flags. So that means every time you blink you see a new church.
- If you like European Cherry Coke buy American Wild Cherry Pepsi.
Weird eh, but true, american Cherry Coke tastes a bit meh in comparison, more flat and of course sweeter.
- “Can I have a beer?” “NO!”
Actual conversation at a Chinese restaurant when we ordered. Me looking surprised didn’t get any response.
- “Hello, how are you doing today?” Standard line everywhere. Don’t ask, I know you don’t care, you know you don’t care, let’s save some valuable time and oxygen and stick to a simple hi.
- “Would you like to apply for (insert store name here) card today? You’ll get a 10% discount on your purchase.” Standard line in every store when you go to pay. Let’s disregard for a minute that getting a card would be of little use to me as a dutch person, but you’re basically telling me you’re ripping me off unless I get a card in EVERY frikkin’ store I go to.
- In a smoke free country, everyone seems to smoke in their car. This made me chuckle. America, the anti-smoke country by far. You can’t smoke anywhere and it’s apparently frowned upon to smoke. So…. why do I see people smoking in about 8 out of 10 cars passing by? A little hypocritical? Nah…
- All teenagers (male and female) all look the same, except they come in two sizes: Small or Extra Extra Large.
I swear they all come out of the same mold. Or they’re all related, or ewww, I don’t even want to know. Nevertheless I found most people look uncanningly alike. You know that stereotype of how to every westerner asian people look alike? Well, I felt the same way about most people in the US.
- Gold plated USB cables.
So we needed a printer cable and decided to go to Staples, and the only one they had was gold plated and cost between $30 and $50, depending on the size, and was found throughout the store every few meters. It was like they were proud to have gold plated USB cables. Newsflash; gold plated connectors only make sense in analog cables because gold conducts better, so if you’re an audiophile it makes sense to get them for your stereo. For a digital signal it’s totally useless. It’s digital! Either you get a signal or you don’t, you can’t get a better signal and there’s no signal loss. I wonder how many idiots buy those cables.
- The amount of pregnant teens.
Maybe it’s Katelynd being pregnant that made us notice this more, but dang, the amount of knocked up teens there was HIGH.
- Where are you from? Oh, interesting *walks off*
The standard reaction we got everywhere when people heard either my dutch accent or Katelynd’s dutch/british/american accent.
- Man trying to steal from child’s toy vending machine.
Seriously, wtf? We had to do our laundry at a laundromat and while waiting there was a, I guess 40 year old man checking all the kids vending machines with the little toys and crap for quarters and trying to pry a toy out of them. He was being very serious about it and everyone around seemed to act like it was the most normal thing in the world.
I think we forgot to write down a lot of things, like the I love my truck shirts, or that for some reason most kids seem to prefer Pontiacs, or the amount of trucks period, or or or. It’s a weird country. Still, I had fun.
20 Replies to "Me goes to the US, part 2"
CommSie on August 25, 2007
“They” seem to need to learn moderation or a different mentality about big
Quite some countries have a problem with teen pregnancies. Hopefully they have found a caring and a well provider for a love, which I unfortunately doubt.
CommSie on August 25, 2007
Also, churches makes me think of centres for paedophiles.
You didn’t went to a lame buffet type chinese did you, Or any chinese for that matter =P Dun trust (^°°)
Corvo on August 25, 2007
Sounds like you were in some weird parallel universe… ya know, there’s people but the rest isn’t quite the same.
*hmmm* A ‘planet of the apes’-like experience….
Ultima on August 25, 2007
It’s appears to be worst in the plain states. X, you got a bad experience. Some of those things are unique to that part of the country.
Namely bible thumping and extreme ingrained nationalistic pride. Up in the mid-atlantic and northern states it’s not that bad.
Jaimie on August 25, 2007
My enthusiasm for all things American just got c-rushed. ;.;
Origin on August 25, 2007
Meh, I’d say a lot of that holds true for most of what I’ve seen in the US(Where I live and have been). It’s actually pretty sad now that you point it out. I’d like to think I’m an exception but… atleast I’m not fat!(wasn’t there a study saying 2 out of ever 3 Americans are fat? Soooo true.)
Humane on August 25, 2007
^I’m with him. I’m not fat either. I’m pregnant *beams again*
Pb on August 25, 2007
It is always interesting to hear thoughts from other people about America when they visit.
Some responses:
-American Flags
At least it isn’t the Confederate Flag. You would be suprised at how much people in the south are obsessed with a country that doesn’t exist anymore. As a black guy, I wish I would not see it as much. It is difficult for me to separate the heritage from the hate you see…
-Fat Americans
Eh… I guess it is true. I do remember getting crap for being really skinny at any family events. Then again, I am about a foot taller than most of the people who would harass me about it.
-Everything being built in the past 50 years
Pretty much.
-Sub Meals
I prefer cookies myself. They are soooooo good. I’m actually getting hungry thinking about it.
Everytime I reply to one of your entries, it makes me want to get a blog here too. Though I’m afraid of everyone realizing just how boring I am.
-Pb
XIII on August 25, 2007
Blog because you like to, not because of others. Go ahead, you know you want one.
And thanks for the comments all of you, especially the Americans. I was half expecting some pissed off people.
Humane on August 25, 2007
I think just about every American here isn’t ‘fat’. Actually I don’t think anyone here at the board is ‘fat’.
@Pb - About the confederate flag, you’re so very right. It’s not just people in the south but sometimes here in the north as well. You have idiot teenagers and adults alike running around with it on their car or whatnot, 1/2 of them not knowing what it means and the other 1/2 proudly displaying it like a ****. It’s sickening. I know some people say it is hertiage but for the love of god it’s offensive.
Also my favourite Subway cookie is the macadamia white chocolate chip. ^^ Nummy! I don’t see how people can eat he foot long subs.. *ponders* I always get the wraps.
Kelly on August 25, 2007
It’s so funny reading what someone else’s take on my country is! I’m glad you had a good time though. There is a lot of weird crap here.
I noticed too that there’s always a lot of pregnant teens here. Some gals can’t keep their legs closed I guess. *shrugs*
Children Programming?! O.O Wow…that’s really scary. I did see this sigh at the dry cleaners near my house though and it said the funniest thing ever! “Drop Your Pants Here, You’ll Get Attention” I wish I had taken a pic of that!
Fat people…yes tons and it’s disgusting. How the hell do you manage to let your self get that overweight?! I know what you mean. They aren’t fat….they are FAT! I just feel sorry for them. I have mini pudge in the belly region, but it’s not good to be a stick anyways.
*dreams of Toxic Hell a.k.a. Taco Bell* Bad stuff but tastes so good.
I laugh about subway meals too. I just stick with a sub. who wants greasy, nasty chips? o.O
I want to live in another country someday. One that isn’t nuts. LOL
Ookami on August 26, 2007
Heh. You hit the nail on the head in quite a few places. There is way too much blind nationalism for my liking. And all of the stores asking if you want cards and everything… it really is quite annoying. And for a country supposedly founded on religious freedom…. well let’s not get going on that one. I wouldn’t want to offend anyone… too much. *ahem*
But visiting one part of the country isn’t enough to give you an idea of the whole thing IMO. There’s so many differences all over, it’s amazing. Many people are surprised when they come to New England because we seem to be in our own little world here… Even sadder still is that many Americans don’t know where “New England” is (or what it is) *sigh*
Ah well. Glad you two got to visit again =)
Cheers X
Saint on August 27, 2007
I guess i’ll fight you:
after i agree on the fat americans. and the children’s programming, fucking dora’s a bitch and teletubbies are probably satanic ramblings
if someone asks how you do, just say you’re fine, and get on with it, we all have pointless customs. the cards, well, annoying maybe, but it’s not like the clerks enjoy it either, so just say no and leave, should be easy as a no-nonsense european :P
other stuff, Ultima’s right, midwestern crap, but every region has random shit, some regions are just plain shit, etc etc
i hope i didn’t miss anything
Humane on August 27, 2007
Teletubbies were made by the British, no? xD
Saint on August 27, 2007
ugh…i’m not sure the British should want that attributed to them
Casey on September 8, 2007
Now, I’m not much for blogging or the commenting of blogs(in fact this will be the 2nd time I’ve ever done so), but I think there’s been some misunderstandings or oversights here. First thing is first, I am a resident of Indiana. I wasn’t offended by the article because all in all Indiana is a pretty backwards state. Evidence for that is in the license plates. It used to be we’d get something plain, just numbers as the standard, and then you could request any vanity plate. Now it’s been flipped, you will be first offered this “In God we trust”, and if you don’t want it, they will ask you several times over if your sure or why not. It’s pretty ridiculous.
Now the smoking, true also that America suddenly became tobacco prohibitionists overnight, I don’t really understand why being that there are so many dangerous chemicals in our food and other products. But my point is that’s probably why you saw so many people smoking in their car, since that’s the only place they can without being hassled by one of those fat asses you saw, who will bitch about the second hand smoke across the room and then bury his 3 chins into his second bacon monster burger.
The thing about kids dressing the same. Of course we do, we buy all our clothes in the same places. Since when were Dutch people any different looking than any American(other than weight of course, I’m weighing in at 140lb fyi).
The thing about us wondering much about where your from is kind of redundant. Do you really want everyone you meet asking you about the history of the Netherlands? Even if you did, we’re Americans bred out of a public school system, you’d just get stupid ass questions like “Do you have any clogs?”, “Do you live in a windmill?” “Oh man, can you really smoke weed over there?” So don’t mind that we weren’t interested in Dutch current affairs, most Americans don’t even know who the vice-president is.
Now i hope this didn’t come off as tipped with poison, because I think this country is just about the lowest you can get these days, just wanted to shed some light on the more shadowy pieces of the article. Done and done.
XIII on September 10, 2007
No, it actually sounds like you agree with just about everything and just add a bit of context to it. Thanks for the comment, I’ll write a follow up when I go back there.
Humane on September 10, 2007
I would have to agree with X on this, Casey. The other shadowy places you mentioned are really just an add on to what was said before in the article. I can (embarassingly) admit I was born and raised in Indiana my entire life as well.
I was in Europe for eight months and I could see the differences in facial features from one country to the next. It is true that each country has a certain look. Whether that be the Dutch, the British, the Chinese or the Americans. And sometimes it can be confusing and it can get to a point where they all look the same.
I think with what X said, he didn’t mind people asking where he was from. He just found humour in how people all of a sudden had an interest in his accent and then turned away with a sudden loss of interest when he said ‘The Netherlands’. I found it quite humourous too. ^_^
Oddities in the US, part 3 on May 7, 2008
[...] follow up to this post, for some reason this was still in my draft queue. Time to hit publish and amuse/annoy you [...]
Humane on August 25, 2007
- In God We Trust! The American Flag to because God only lives in America. Hurr hurr. xD
- Fat people? Yesh, lots and lots. Or just anorexic. Or pregnant. *beams*
- I hope I don’t look like the average American. I ain’t no inbreeds.
- Chips. Icky >.<
- “Children’s programming”, I broke protocol
- Can you have beer? No it’s evil xD